If you are like me, now that you’re in college you’ve got one thing on your mind: romance. There are members of whatever sex you want in your classes, on your floor and, if you play your cards right, in your room. The hard part is getting in the game, staying in the game and being happy. Here are eight rules to help you get through college romance.
OK, despite the amount of high school experience you had, everyone here starts on an even playing field, because none of you have dated in college. So, the first rule of romance is: do not focus on your high school record. For most of you, this won’t be a problem, unless you’re still in your committed high school relationship. Good for those of you who are; you’re very brave. Just make sure you don’t get discouraged by whatever happened or didn’t happen in high school. So even if you’ve never been on a date or your last girlfriend was a succubus, you can still play at Wash. U. and don’t forget it.
The second rule, which I’m going to credit to my mother, is: try to stay out of a committed relationship during the first month or two of college. Relationships get in the way of meeting new people and when you two break up, you’ll want an independent identity and friend group. Flirt all you want, but save serious relationships for after mid-terms or even spring semester.
Which brings me to the third rule of college romance: most relationships break up. So if that cute girl down the hall is dating someone at Rice, don’t give up on her yet. I’d put money down on, “it probably won’t last longer than sophomore year.” She might be single as early as a month in and at latest sophomore year. And don’t be afraid to strategize that far in advance; keeping an eye on someone is not as creepy as it sounds.
Fourth rule: Limit yourself to one person per dorm room/suite, unless the first one broke up with you in a jerk way and made it very clear he/she has no more feelings for you and you really dig the other one. Having a buffer relationship between the two will help, but it still has great potential for awkward encounters, hurt feelings and, well, a nasty reputation. Sometimes it works out fine; just try not to be malicious.
Similarly, rule five is: don’t date your own roommate. Like seriously, don’t.
Rule six is from my older brother: if you aren’t happy with someone, break it off. You’ve only got four years of college, so there is no point being with someone when you’d be happier, or simply not as sad, without him or her. Trust me, you will be happier and you will find someone else.
The seventh rule needs some cooperation: Be sure to test out prospects in a group of friends before you get too into them. If your friends don’t like him or her beware, there might be something fundamentally wrong with the new one: he might not be that great of a guy, he might not be treating you that well or, if your friends are shallow, the guy is ugly and you just don’t know it.
Finally, there is nothing sexier than confidence. Learn to exude it. Ladies, trust me, guys like it. Guys, trust me, ladies like it. Thus, rule eight is: amass loads and loads of self-respect. Self-respect (but not vanity) will get you to the right kind of confidence that will make people more attracted to you.
So, figure out what you love about yourself before you start looking around. It is a lot easier to show people the best parts of you when you know ahead of time what they are.
So go. Date outside your comfort zone, keep a running tally of your hook-ups and stay friends with your ex’s. After all, it’s just college.
Cat is a senior in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].