Margaret BauerI started the night on a sour note (the Yankees lost the pennant race), but gradually, as beverages overcame my disappointment, the haunted mansion took precedence. There are ghosts at the Lemp mansion. They may not have shown themselves to me, but they are all there-Charles, Billy, William, even Monkey Face Boy. And you know what they told me? The Red Sox suck!
-Susannah Cahalan
A room with a haunted piano, Sunchips, Evan Williams, plenty of C2 and a ruthless leprechaun chasing a buxom young Jennifer Aniston on the TV-I figured we’d have to summon some of the dead Lemp crew. If that didn’t help, our notorious John Edwards prot‚g‚ embodied in editor form even beckoned the ghosts inside a creepy asbestos-filled attic. Our signature “Growth” candle from a Christian retreat must have scared them away. All I have to say is, “Ghosts, where are you? I just want to talk. We could have a good time, I promise.” “Egon, or Venkman-any suggestions?”
-Pat Kennedy
12:30 a.m.: I pass a couple, seated on a bench, staying in one of the other rooms, well on their way to hooking up. The dude, bulky and t-shirt clad, asks me, “Are you a ghost?”
12:55 a.m.: Despite the fact that it’s the only legal smoking area in the Mansion, we’re kicked out of the bar by a spindly security guard. My solution to this problem is to smoke in every other room, ghostly emphysema be damned.
1:40 a.m.: Cadenza’s attempt at a s‚ance goes horrendously awry. That we expected anything otherwise is hilarious.
-Tyler Weaver
So I tried to conduct a s‚ance tonight, but what are you supposed to say when the rest of the Cadenza staff is stifling their laughter at your dorky seriousness? “O Charles Lemp, reveal yourself to us!” I might as well have been playing Dungeons and Dragons. If only I had the fortitude of a Robbie Gross, the inquisitive spirit of a Susannah Cahalan, the emboldened drunkenness of a Tyler Weaver! Then I’d show those ghosts a thing or two. For now I’ll just pop open a brew and watch some sweet, sweet “Leprechaun.”
-Matt Simonton
I must come to you, dear diary, for ye only understand. My secret has become too great heavy to bear. They will surely become frightened of me, yet I will summon the courage. If there ever was such a haunting place to make known such a dreadful secret, it is this mansion. I shall arrange a game of Truth or Dare and there will I dare my truth to become known-for I am a Werewolf! I will soon become seized with madness, hair and fangs! O my dear, sweet journalists: save yourselves before it’s too late! Awhooooooooooo!
-Robbie Gross