At Washington University, we’ve been battling some especially scary demons lately, in the form of scandalous revelations and controversial decisions from campus figures and organizations.

It’s a shame that the ongoing construction at Olin Library has forced the closing of Whispers Cafe this semester, but don’t worry: You still don’t actually have to leave the library to get sustenance. Here is your complete guide to whipping up a delicious five-course gourmet meal using items available for purchase in the Olin Library vending machines.