West Campus named most beautiful campus in US by Niche

Seekiswag McBrit | Director of Swag

Citing its “exquisite modern facilities” and “quaint on-campus craft shops,” the university rankings website Niche named Washington University’s West Campus the most beautiful in the United States Thursday.

The campus, located in the city of Clayton and noted for being that place you drive by to get to Pastaria, is home to the University’s archives, including every issue of Student Libel dating back to 1878, as well as some offices, I guess.

The announcement was met with widespread confusion and anger on campus, as students lamented the unseating of the Danforth campus at the top of the rankings.

“Honestly I’m just disappointed. I based my entire college decision on those rankings and now I’m stuck here, the second most beautiful campus in the United States. It’s a travesty,” freshman Johnny Onepercenter said.

Some students, however, were more optimistic.

“Look, of course I’m disappointed that the campus we actually go to school at isn’t number one anymore,” a junior said. “But come on folks, that campus deserves it! There’s literally an artisan cheese shop right there! I don’t think they take meal points, but still!”

While student opinion was divided, however, administrators were largely positive about the result.

“Of course, we absolutely do not run this university based on rankings, even though they massively affect our prestige and the quality of our incoming class. We only care about the educational experience, obviously. That said, we are delighted to take the top two spots in the rankings. After all, we work day in and day out to raise our profile in these rankings, so getting the top spot out of nowhere is delightful.”

In any case, students plan on making their way to West Campus much more in future, bravely popping the Wash. U. bubble in the process.

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