Libel 2011
Saint Broderick Middle School presents: ‘Hamlet’
April 1,2, and 3
I kept my program from St. Broderick Middle School’s production of “Hamlet.” At some point during the fourth act, I listed on the back some activities that were preferable to attending this performance – nibbling paint chips, seasoning a casserole with rubber cement and figuring out which chemicals under my sink would make the best mixer because the sweet embrace of death would be preferable to this hackneyed performance. Though close to Wash. U. and relatively cheap, no one should bother attending this colossal travesty of a tragedy.
While the St. Louis theater scene can’t begin to compare to the one I left behind in Des Moines, I still think it’s reasonable to maintain some expectations. A conversation between Mike Tyson and Snooki would have more existential gravitas than the titular wannabe thespian’s delivery of “To Be or Not to Be.” As the school’s stage is in its gymnasium, the conceit that the audience had been transported back to medieval Elsinore was broken on the hum of nearby vending machines, the racks of pint-sized basketballs. It was quickly and wildly apparent that the producers had invested no interest or concern in the show’s critical success.
Above all, this review is a plea to the adults of St. Louis. Please, stop tolerating bad theater. Throughout the performance, I was the only one who minded that the swords were cardboard tubes, that Ophelia forgot her lines and just cried instead, or that Claudius’s beard was laughably fake. Seriously, St. Louis, get it together. Don’t encourage such thoughtless plunder of Shakespeare. So, sample your rat poison rather than attend this production of “Hamlet.” Believe it or not, it’s a better way to spend your time.