In defense of Nickelback

Rad Broeger | Great music connoisseur

First off, I want to state that this article need not be written: Having to defend Nickelback is like having to defend sliced bread, The Beatles or Miley Cyrus. I just don’t understand where the hatred of this magnificent band comes from: is it just jealousy of their fame, fortune and pure unadulterated awesomeness?

To start, there’s frontman Chad Kroeger—if your first and last names are alliterative, you know you’re gonna make something of yourself. Kroeger is the magical miracle that was birthed when some brave scientists mixed the vocal stylings of Creed’s Scott Stapp and the DNA of Jesus. Kroeger was so committed to Nickelback that he was actually willing to take his own life in order to up album sales. “It’s a fact: Death sells. When Van Gogh was alive, he couldn’t trade his paintings for a pair of clogs; now, they’re worth millions of Dutch clogs. The sale of flannel shirts quadrupled when Cobain died. And Anne Frank, her book is probably still on The New York Times Best Seller list,” Kroeger recounts in his upcoming autobiography, “Give Me My Life and My NICKELBACK.” Thankfully, his band mates managed to advise him against this so as to not deprive his fans of his musical genius. But still, if that’s not devotion to your craft, I don’t know what is.

From Coldplay to the Jonas Brothers, many renowned musicians cite Nickelback as one of their major influences. Upon the release of “In Rainbows,” Thom Yorke was quoted: “I remember people being adamant about not wanting to pay money for Nickelback’s albums. We just wanted to follow in their footsteps. If people weren’t paying for their albums, we didn’t think it was fair for fans to pay for our attempt at music.”

And, not many people realize that Shakespeare had Nickelback’s alt-Christian-angst-rock in mind when he wrote, “If music be the food of love, play on.” This is the only way to describe the feelings evoked when listening to Nickelback’s newest CD, “Dark Horse.” With its four different renditions of “Something in Your Mouth” (including an a cappella version) and its inclusion of their Grammy award wining cover of Dionne Warwick’s “I Say A Little Prayer,” that CD is the best four easy payments of $9.99 I have ever spent.

I probably can’t completely change your mind, but hopefully, next time “Feelin’ Way Too Damn Good” comes up on your iPod, you won’t start swearing about how you have to go through your iTunes library and take off all of the unnecessary crap.

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