How to score girls on the Wash. U. campus

Mystery McFine | The Pickup Artist

Have you had trouble getting fine Wash. U. girls lately? Has your typically pickup line of, “I’m a pre-med, what’s your sign?” been failing you? While this campus is teeming with gorgeous girls, maybe a change of search strategy is in order. Here’s a list of places to hit up if you really want to score girls.

1. The South 40 gym: There’s a reason this place is called the Estrogym. While most girls will be huffing and puffing, blasting their iPods and reading Cosmo as they work out on the elliptical machine, this doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be approached. The best way to get these girls is to work out on the machine next to them and stare at them. Just stare. When they finally look up at you, tell them that they’re beautiful even without the makeup that they usually wear. Girls love to be complimented on their natural beauty, so you’re sure to pick up some chicks with this technique.

2. Olin Library: It’s a little known fact that Wash. U. students are studious. That being said, one of their favorite hangout spots is the library. Hitting on a girl can be a bit embarrassing, so it’s best to find a girl studying by herself in a booth. If she seems stressed or preoccupied, it’s not because she’s worried about her Organic Chemistry exam the next day; it’s because she’s freaking out about finding a date to formal. Approach her and ask her if she wants to go down to the B-stacks and relieve her stress.

3. The DUC: As the student center, the DUC is a hot spot for picking up ladies on campus. The best time to go scouting is during lunch, when it is crowded. You should get in a popular line like the Asian or salad stations because your pickings will be plentiful there. Strike up a conversation and don’t worry if the people around you are shouting at you to move up in line; it’s just because they’re jealous.

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