Disney’s dirty deeds: scarred for life

Ashley Adam Rubin | World's Greatest Lover

Think of the easiest object to draw. Did you think of a penis? Because we did, and so did all those perverted Disney animators. The sex stars in Lion King, Aladdin’s “take off your clothes” line, and the topless woman in The Rescuers Down Under are priceless contributions to the movies we know and love, but they’re obvious perversions. So, for the sake of inclusion, we’ve uncovered five lesser-known images that will ruin the movies you know and love.

The classic spaghetti smooch may be romantic, but it’s also racy. Look in the background (42:13) and you’ll glimpse another pair of canines doin’ the nasty. This, dear reader, is why you should never go on a first date in a dark alley.

Amos, hunter and owner of Copper the hound, makes a loud and incomprehensible scream consisting mostly of gibberish after his leg is bitten by one of his dogs (63:39). When played backwards, the audio clearly says “Fondle young boys. Fondle them.” Remarkable.

As Esméralda, the female lead, flees the knights pursuing her at the commencement of the film (2:11), she spins and appears to disappear into thin air. As she spins her skirt rises just high enough to give a generous shot of her undergarments. Contrary to popular belief, French women do shave.

Inside the peach we find a boy, a ladybug, a grasshopper, a centipede, an earthworm, a spider, a silkworm and a penis (55:50). In this frame of the stop motion vid, a glowing phallus replaces the usual glowworm character. The creators actually used the same glow-in-the-dark condom to clothe both clay members.

Near the start of the film (4:26), Elastigirl seductively sizes up Mr. Incredible. As she takes her leave from the rooftops, Mr. Incredible appears to experience a sizeable erection while still on screen. This is why real heroes don’t wear tights.

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