Five simple exercises to improve your sex life

Aaron Brezel | Sports Editor

So, you already broke your New Year’s resolution and haven’t been to the gym since January. The strenuous Washington University workload has stripped you of your motivation for anything other than schoolwork, so you’re looking for that extra incentive to hit the gym. Luckily for you, we’ve provided five exercises that will help you perform better between the sheets and make for a superior experience for both you and your partner.

Squats

It was a wise Colombian pop star who first proclaimed, “My hips don’t lie.” This is especially important in the sack, and a partner with a strong lower body opens up a whole host of new positional possibilities.

To unlock your potential, strengthen your quads, hamstrings and glutes by performing squats. Squats can be performed with or without weights, but the principle motion remains the same. Plant two feet on the ground roughly shoulder-width apart with your feet and knees facing about 30 degrees outward. On your descent, push your hips down in a straight line; if you feel strain in your spine and neck, stop. Be sure to bring your pelvis parallel to or slightly below your knees to get the full effect of the workout.

Elliptical

Rapid repetitive motions can leave anyone prematurely winded. An inability to perform that kind of heavy physical activity can be disappointing for both you and your teammate(s). To remedy this issue, you need to improve your cardiovascular endurance. Most people would hop on the nearest treadmill, but the up-and-down punishment of traditional running can do unnecessary damage to your knees, a vital joint in any relationship (see: wall sits).

Instead, choose the elliptical, a machine designed to eliminate the impact of the treadmill by using individual foot platforms that follow your stride. The elliptical not only provides a pain-free cardiovascular exercise, but resistance settings on the dashboard can also give your legs a solid workout. With this exercise you’ll be able to keep up with anything your partner can throw at you.

Wall sits

If you happen to be on your knees a lot, wall sits may be the perfect exercise to strengthen your knees and quadriceps while avoiding soreness. For me, wall sits bring to mind terrible memories of middle-school basketball practice when my legs would violently shake during this exercise, much to the entertainment of my teammates. But for many others, wall sits are an easy exercise that can be done at home without any equipment.

To successfully perform this exercise, make sure to keep your legs at a 90-degree angle, press your back against the wall and hold it for as long as you can. Gradually, you will build your way up to performing wall sits for a few minutes at a time, and you’ll be prepared for whatever is flashed your way.

Facial exercises

So now that you have the knees covered, it’s time to bolster your facial muscles with a few simple exercises. First, make an “O” face and hold it for 30 seconds in order to fortify your cheek and jaw muscles. Next, stick your tongue out as far as it can go for 60 seconds at a time. While this exercise won’t make your tongue any longer, you’ll be able to impress your significant other with the sheer strength and endurance of your tongue.

Farmer’s carry

Say your date stood you up and you’re flying solo for the evening. You’re capable of servicing yourself but lack the grip strength to make it an enjoyable experience. Never fear, because the farmer’s carry is here. Hold a dumbbell in each hand and walk a set distance before setting them down. This will strengthen your forearms for those long, lonely nights. The best part about this exercise is that it can be performed solo, although it’s always suggested to have a partner close by to offer advice and correct your form.

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