A friend of mine repeatedly told me about “LuLu’s Seafood,” a Chinese restaurant that he claimed was so delicious and inexpensive that you couldn’t miss out on it. He’s Chinese and had certified LuLu’s as authentic, high-quality Chinese cuisine; I had to trust his judgment.

As I entered LuLu’s, I found myself in a boisterous atmosphere. The wall held tanks filled with fish and lobsters, and a large television was playing Chinese videos featuring people laughing and humming, but seemingly doing nothing else. This was rather strange, but nonetheless the place was relatively full with mostly Chinese customers at 8:30 p.m. on a Sunday night. Great sign if you’re trying to find good Chinese food.

It was immediately apparent that English is not the strength of LuLu’s staff. The staff at LuLu’s is not ashamed of this, but rather seems proud that they have resisted the powerful grasp of the English language. The staff seemed to pay close attention to the ethnicity of the customers; my table of three Caucasian guys was about the only one in the restaurant to have its chopsticks replaced with forks before the meal.

Our server was a frenetic waitress who could not seem to stop moving around and laughing. She really liked that our table drank so much water that she needed to bring us our own “pitch,” making a joke about it once every 10 minutes. Though perhaps her material could have used some work, I found the waitress rather endearing. She was quick in bringing out the food and brought us endless bowls of free rice.

I ordered shark fin dumplings from the dim sum menu for a starter. As I am accustomed to dumplings wrapped in plump, whitish dough, these ones surprised me with their shriveled contour and yellow color. Maybe I lack the sophisticated palate to appreciate shark fin dumplings, but I did not find them enjoyable.

The dough was bland and floppy, and the shark fin filling was slimy. It had a gamey flavor to it that left a terrible aftertaste. One of the dumplings was severely salted, rendering it inedible. Avoid this plate and go with the pork-filled dumplings or, frankly, anything else instead.

LuLu’s General Tso’s chicken is a version of the American Chinese classic featuring fried chicken with a sweet and spicy sauce. A few of my Chinese friends have scathed me for associating this dish with actual Chinese food, as apparently it is as far away from authentic Chinese as Imo’s is from authentic Italian. I happen to care more about enjoying my food than worrying about its authenticity, and in general I love this faux-Chinese dish.

Once again, LuLu’s failed to impress. The plate came with golden-brown chicken and glaze surrounded by an army of broccoli. The presentation was great, but the broccoli was completely flavorless. I had hoped the chicken would fill the void left by its vegetable brethren, but it was bland as well. I could feel a bit of heat coming from the peppers and I liked the crunchiness of the fried chicken and broccoli, but in general the timid flavor of the plate left a feeling of mediocrity.

The Mongolian beef was the best dish of the night. It featured pieces of beef with onion and other vegetables mixed and placed atop a heap of crunchy white noodles. The beef was well cooked and had a pleasantly fresh and tender quality. I also enjoyed the slightly seared taste of the beef, but in truth, even this dish could have used more seasoning.

When I told a few of my Chinese friends about my impression of LuLu’s, they were shocked and horrified. They told me all the mistakes I made, the most common of which was that I did not go with a Chinese person; this recommendation was also made in an online review.

If you venture to LuLu’s, you know which friend to call. Otherwise, head over to Panda Express for some higher-quality cuisine.