The key to success: Jungle juice as an indicator of self-worth

| Contributing Writer

There are certain traits that the world’s most successful people share. Successful individuals are creative and hardworking. They pay attention to details and are highly sociable creatures. But there is another skill that I am willing to bet that they possess. I argue that the ability to mix up some darn good jungle juice is an incredibly important and often overlooked skill of any successful person. A competent jungle juice maker (shall we say a jungle juicer?) possesses all of the traits listed above, in addition to the ability to make a beastly beverage for any occasion.

The first quality that a jungle juicer possesses is an astute sense of creativity. An artful jungle juicer will be able to concoct a flavorful punch from any liquids that happen to be present on the bar at a party. A successful punch maker will be able to scour the cupboards and, using sheer brainpower and the ability to think outside the box, have a presentable drink made faster than you can say “started from the bottom, now we’re here.” Creativity is crucial for a memorable jungle juice.

A jungle juicer is bound to be a hard-working individual. Many party hosts purchase beverages with some cups, put the two in the same place and leave it at that. While this is acceptable, jungle juicers push the envelope. They care not only about their guests slaking their thirst but about their guests having a good time while doing so. Wetting a dry throat in style is the only way to go for a jungle juicer. I guarantee that the jungle-juice mastermind behind that beverage you had last weekend has an incredible work ethic.

Fresh fruit? Paper umbrellas? Colored straws? Jungle juicers are some of the most detail-oriented people you’ll ever find. They are the kind of people who think through all stages of production beforehand, who can efficiently allocate budgets and execute a plan in the blink of an eye. Every detail of the final product (an overflowing pitcher of sweet nectar, in this case) will only add to its aesthetic value.

One of the most important traits of successful jungle juicers is their superior interpersonal skills. The ability to relate to and work with others is paramount to the success of an individual. Jungle juicers excel in interpersonal relations. To begin with, they are throwing a party, which is a sure sign of social prowess. That delicious drink that they have whipped up is sure to please even the most apathetic guest, and thus through their artistry, jungle juicers constantly thrive to connect with others. Not only are jungle juicers good at maneuvering social situations—they also thoroughly enjoy having people around them, which is why they made that jungle juice in the first place.

You know that person who always comes to mind when you wonder which of your friends will be famous one day? I bet his/her jungle juice is out of this world. Success and jungle juice are intertwined, and you cannot have one without the other. And so, as you continue your quest toward enhancing your skills as an individual, consider investing some time in the art of jungle juice. Everyone’s taste buds will thank you.

Sign up for the email edition

Stay up to date with everything happening as Washington University returns to campus.

Subscribe