Five worst places to be after hours

| Staff Columnist

Last week, after unsuspectingly slipping into Olin Library despite its closure to the public (see my crazy Facebook album to come) during spring break, I extended my thoughts on the subject by compiling a list of the best places to go nuts in after the door is locked. It got you all thinking, I’m sure. What would you do if given the chance to run free in Shnucks? Eat, maybe. In an ideal world, perhaps the article sparked you to extend your thoughts to your neighbor, and you each compiled your own jolly list. However, “best” is comparative, and if there are the top five places to go after hours, there are certainly a bottom five as well.
These are the places you just wouldn’t want to find yourself in when the clock strikes late. The specific reasons for their being honored on such a list vary—but let’s just say they all have one thing in common: You wouldn’t want to have your birthday party here, kids.

5. Whispers

It’s not so much of a bad place to be late at night, as it is a really common place to be late at night. Maybe it would be better for all of us if they just locked the doors and forced us all to do our work at an appropriate hour.

4. Art Museum

We’ve all seen the movie trailer. Or, if you’re particularly unlucky, the actual movie. In any case, I would gladly pass up Monet’s watercolors coming alive and chasing me out to Art Hill. Though such an event would make a good trequel (second sequel).

3. Post Office

I used to, quite literally, fall asleep in line at the post office when waiting with my mother in my youth. Though I was always attracted to the P.O. boxes (What was behind them?!). In any case, the Post Office is generally to be avoided at all costs, particularly by thrill-seekers. Oh, the insanity of bicycle-themed stamps.

2. Sun Dial Store

Ha! Haha! Get it?! An alternative number two would be something along the lines of “a store that generates happiness via solar power.” If anyone ever finds one of these, tell me about it, and then we’ll all not go at night together.

1. Prison

Yikes. The newest Lady Gaga video doesn’t help its case.

Selena is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at [email protected].

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