Witnessing the election of Barack Obama was one of the most exciting moments of my life. After eight years of W., there is finally some hope of competence, restraint and respect for the Constitution in the White House. And it is impossible to ignore the beauty for children of those born into slavery, like 109-year-old Amanda Jones of Texas, casting their votes for a victorious black president. This is America at its best.

But the good times were quickly overshadowed by a dark and ugly cloud when several states voted in favor of ballot initiatives which discriminate against gays. Floridians voted, by an overwhelming majority, to amend their constitution to preemptively ban gay marriage. Another large majority in Arkansas voted to prevent gay couples from adopting, despite the great need for foster care in that state. And Arizona, after having been the first state to resist a gay marriage ban in 2006, changed its mind only two years later. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the 2006 measure would have eliminated domestic partnerships for straight couples also.

These results were depressing, to be sure, but were hardly unexpected. But it was truly shocking to see California, one of the most liberal states in the country which went 61-37 percent in favor of Obama, amend its state constitution to destroy the families of its thousands of devoted gay couples by passing Proposition 8.

In the wake of such a traumatic setback for equal rights, a lot of ink has been spilled in an effort to discover what exactly went wrong. Many have tried to discover who exactly is to blame: was it blacks, whom a CNN exit poll showed voting 70-30 percent in favor of the ban (unlikely, as blacks comprise only 6 percent of California’s population, and exit polls are unreliable at best)? Was it the Mormon Church, which channeled millions of dollars from Utah into the advertising blitzkrieg for the ban? Perhaps, but they were not the ones who cast the votes.

Some have placed blame on the shoulders of Obama and his running mate, for their public statements affirming the definition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman, and the ticket’s relative (but not complete) silence on Proposition 8.

Questions like these may be worth asking, but those who aim to achieve marriage equality would do well to be forward-looking about how we can prevent this from occurring in the future instead of obsessing about the past.

First off, advocates of marriage equality can take comfort in the fact that, though this is a devastating setback, it is likely only temporary. Young people are largely sold on gay marriage, and demographic trends in the next few years should ensure that gay marriage is imminent. Proposition 8 would not pass in 2012.

In the meantime, however, the best thing that can be done is to continue to educate and persuade those who are unfamiliar with gay couples. Much of the opposition to Proposition 8 was fueled by the common prejudices that gay people have an “agenda” and are out to “recruit” children to their cause. Witnessing the reality of loving gay couples who don’t differ in any relevant sense from their straight counterparts exposes these prejudices for the absurdities they are. Just ask Dick Cheney.

Obama and the Democrats also have a very simple way to help move forward the cause of gay rights: repeal the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The DOMA is most commonly known for its protection of the right of states to refuse to acknowledge gay marriages granted in other states. But far more damaging and discriminatory is Section 3 of the act, which prohibits the federal government from granting any rights or benefits to same-sex couples. Whether or not one believes in gay marriage (as Obama and Biden have said they do not), it is inexcusable to refuse to grant these rights to same-sex couples.

It goes without saying that denying the rights of a small and despised minority should not be allowed and is unlikely to end well. But the future is on our side, and marriage equality is not far off.