TV
Fall TV Preview: Monday through Thursday
“Glee” returns for its second season this Tuesday and will air on FOX at 7 p.m.
Monday
“Dancing With The Stars” (ABC, Mondays at 7 p.m. and Tuesdays at 8 p.m.)
On what show can you find Sarah Palin’s daughter, Ferris Bueller’s sister and Marcia Brady’s mom? And on that same show also feature David Hasselhoff of “Baywatch,” Audrina Patridge of “the Hills,” and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of “Jersey Shore”? “Dancing with the Stars,” which showcases retired athletes, fallen musicians and perennial c-listers, is in rare form this season. Unlike Season 6’s Cristian de la Fuenta, whose claim to fame entails appearing in six episodes of “CSI: Miami,” or last season’s Ashley Hamilton, who has done literally nothing but remain married to Shannen Doherty for five months, every ‘star’ is recognizable. Starting tonight, you can watch Brandy, Kurt Warner, Michael Bolton and Rick Fox join the aforementioned celebrities as they parade around a parquet floor in an embarrassing attempt to remain relevant in popular culture. —Steph Spera
“The Event” (NBC, 8 p.m.)
TV networks are always searching for the new “Lost.” They’ve done it every year since the show began, and these shows never really materialize past one season. And yet, NBC is up to it again with “The Event,” premiering tonight at 8 p.m. “The Event” centers on some mysterious, well…event, and even though I have seen all the previews, I have no idea what this event could be. All I can glean is that it’s supposed to be epic. The show has a huge scope, focusing on an average, brainy hottie (Jason River), the president of the United States (Blair Underwood), a mystifying Alaskan woman held captive (Laura Innes) and a lot in between. The event will probably turn out to be a vast conspiracy, but who knows? Well, the show does. Unlike “Lost,” “The Event” actually promises to answer the questions it poses. The show is desperate to make people believe that it knows what it’s doing and that it will not struggle to find its path. Tune in tonight for the most ambitious new show in a long time. Hopefully, it will not be lost. —Andie Hutner
“Lone Star” (FOX, 8 p.m.)
The primetime Texan soap is back with a vengeance, although unfortunately, “Lone Star” is not set in Dallas. “Lone Star” centers on Bob, a charming con man who lives a double life: he is both the boyfriend of ingénue Lindsay and the husband of oil heiress Cat. Bob is the perfect anti-hero, one whose life is ruled by conflict. Bob wants to get out of the con world without losing the women he loves, though of course, complications ensue. For one thing, it’s impossible to love two women without conning both of them. Second, Bob’s dad doesn’t want his son to leave the family business. Most importantly, a primetime soap would be nothing without complications! James Wolk shines as Bob, making a traditionally unlikeable character into one we cannot help but love. The story promises to unfold by using its Texas backdrop as a character, and all critical reviewers promise the pilot will be a worthwhile hour. —Andie Hutner
“Hawaii Five-0” (CBS, 9 p.m.)
Though the competition was quite limited, “Hawaii Five-0” wins a very prestigious award: Best Excuse to Keep a “Lost” Cast Member (Daniel Dae Kim, who played Jin) in Hawaii. However, that’s not the only hype this new remake is getting. “Hawaii Five-0” is supposed to be one of the most fantastic new shows of the season, as it blends traditional cop storylines with ongoing emotional character plots. Oh, and it’s set in one of the most beautiful places in the world. The show stars Alex O’Loughlin as Steve McGarrett, head of a Hawaiian crime force. The supporting cast includes Scott Caan, as Steve’s partner and friend Danno, as well as the aforementioned Kim as a former cop and Grace Park as the sexy rookie. The cast is rumored to have incredible chemistry, and tonight’s pilot episode will definitely prove whether or not that’s accurate. The new “Hawaii Five-0” holds true to the 1970s series it was based on, while changing just enough to feel fresh and modern. —Andie Hutner
Tuesday
“Glee” (FOX, 7 p.m.)
Last season, “Glee” captured audiences with stunning numbers, quirky characters and amusing story lines. Although the show was sometimes hamstrung by mediocre writing, audiences found the tongue-in-cheek nature of the show charming. But what really blew everyone out of the water were amazing vocals by the likes of Matthew Morrison, Lea Michele and Amber Riley. “Glee” is the first successful musical television series, and self-proclaimed Gleeks anxiously await tomorrow night. Last season, “Glee” ended after a disappointing, albeit expected loss at Regionals. Rachel and Finn got back together, Quinn had her baby and Sue Sylvester saved New Directions from being disbanded. This season, audiences can look forward to a slew of rivalries: Quinn vs. Santana as they fight for the title of Queen Bee at McKinley High; Rachel vs. Sunshine, Rachel’s new vocal nemesis; Sue vs. the new female football coach; Coah Beiste and Will vs. Carl Howell as they fight for Emma’s heart. Some noteworthy song highlights include “Empire State of Mind,” “Billionaire,” “Time Warp,” and “…Baby One More Time,” with guest appearances from Britney Spears, John Stamos, Susan Boyle and Cheyenne Jackson. This season is sure to enchant viewers with the incredible talent that is coming to the show. —Kara Gordon
“Running Wilde” (FOX, 8:30 p.m.)
Welcome back, Mitch Hurwitz. It’s been too long. Of course, a year ago we all thought you were back with “Sit Down, Shut Up,” which ended up failing miserably. But this is different. I’ve got a good feeling about it this time. Is that because you’re back with the dream team that made “Arrested Development” (Hurwitz, co-creator Jim Vallely and directors Anthony and Joe Russo)? Well, that certainly factors in. Or perhaps it’s Will Arnett and Kerri Russell’s returns to TV that have got the good vibes flowing? It’s hard to say. Whatever the reason may be, this surreal show just feels like it has a lot going for it. So, it’s okay, Mitch. Put down your “Arrested Development Movie” script for three months and see what you can do with “Running Wilde.” —Percy Olsen
Wednesday
“Modern Family” (ABC, 8 p.m.)
What’s amazing about ABC’s Emmy Award-winning “Modern Family” is that it was immediately great. Last year, the mockumenatry-style sitcom filled a void in television world: it breathed new life into the family sitcom. The show follows the lives of Jay Pritchett and his grown children Mitchell and Claire. In its pilot, Mitchell and his partner Cameron have just adopted an adorable Vietnamese baby, Lily; Jay has recently married the beautiful Gloria, who is half his age and comes with a nine-year-old son, Manny; and Phil and Claire try to control their three children: teenager Haley, brainiac Alex and typical 10-year-old Luke. The plot of “Modern Family” revolves around relatable family activities like birthday parties, soccer games and family pictures and manages to maintain the balance between laugh-out-loud hilarity and emotional depth. And the show has the capacity to teach its viewers essential life lessons. Take Phil’s response to his daughter’s question about what Jägermeister is: “You know how in a fairy tale, there’s always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that, except you don’t wake up in a castle—you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.” Wise words, Phil Dunphy. Wise, wise words. —Steph Spera
Thursday
“Community” (NBC, 7 p.m.)
Although it did not provide the most consistent comedy in its first season, when “Community” got it right, it really got it right. “Community” revolves around a Spanish study group at the subpar Greendale Community College, home of the politically friendly mascot, the Human Beings. Headed by Joel McHale of “The Soup” and supported by a strong cast including Allison Brie (Trudy on “Mad Men”) and Chevy Chase, “Community” has the potential to become a sitcom on par with “Friends” and “The Office.” The chemistry between Donald Glover and Dani Pudi is fantastic—their 30-second spots that roll during the show’s final credits are so hilarious you don’t mind sitting through the 30-second Hulu commercials that precede them. The show’s “Goodfellas” parody, in which Joel and the gang took control of a chicken finger operation, was one of the greatest television sitcom episodes of last season. And, if those aren’t enough reasons to give “Community” a chance, their season premiere features the justifiably glorified Betty White as their new anthropology teacher. —Steph Spera
“The Big Bang Theory” (CBS, 7 p.m.)
In the fourth season of “The Big Bang Theory,” our four geniuses and comic book enthusiasts are back along with the endearing but oh so intellectually average Penny. The boys will dish out science jokes your physics teachers desperately wish they could have come up with (Bazinga!). There could be a side of romance to sweeten up the quick one-liners. Viewers can anticipate some tension between Leonard and Penny. Last we saw the show, she tried to move on to dreamier and dumber men before ending her night with Leonard in one last drunken, romantic encounter. But if romance isn’t in the cards for them, perhaps it is for neurotic Sheldon, who Koothrappali found a match for on an online dating service. Look for “The Big Bang Theory” on Thursday at 7 p.m. on CBS and prepare yourself for another season of comedic nerds. —Kathleen Heist
“30 Rock” (NBC, Thursdays 7:30 p.m.)
Have we really made it to season five? I ask, because whenever I finish a “30 Rock” season finale, I can’t shake the feeling that the critically-acclaimed, yet ratings-challenged show has breathed its last breath. And yet every year, for four years now, “30 Rock” returns from its summer break as alive and engaging as ever. Where did the latest finale leave us? Well, Kenneth got fired, Jack chose Avery (sorry, Nancy), Floyd got married, Cerie got married, and Liz almost married Wesley Snipes (no, not that Wesley Snipes) before meeting guest-star Matt Damon, who played astronaut Mike Dexter—er, I mean, airline pilot Carol. Eh, close enough, Liz. The premiere has a lot to reconcile, but if any show can do it, “30 Rock” can. —Percy Olsen
“The Office” (NBC, Thursdays 8 p.m.)
As you undoubtedly know by now, this will be Steve Carell’s last season on “The Office.” It’s all anyone wants to talk about. Who will replace Michael? How will they continue the show without him? Why could they continue the show without him? Michael Scott is the show’s engine. What would “The Office” even be without Michael? But as the season premiere draws near, forget about your worries and remember that the only reason next season frightens you so much is that the previous six have been phenomenal. Don’t turn season seven into a deathwatch. Think of it as a final hurrah. —Percy Olsen
“Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC, 8 p.m.)
Last season’s finale of “Grey’s Anatomy” left the hospital (and audiences) shocked by a shooting rampage with a body count reminiscent of a “CSI” episode. As a result, the seventh season’s tagline is “Let the healing begin.” This season’s premiere will feature the doctors’ attempts to recover from this trauma. Meredith and Derek will deal with both her miscarriage and his speeding ticket. Two other doctors will be pushed together by the tragedy. Callie and Arizona will try to work out their disagreement over children, though with new complications. Bailey’s search for love and balance in her life will continue without her season six beau. Look for one of the love triangles to continue and for another to be put to rest permanently. And to top it all off, a signature couple will tie the knot. Showrunner Shonda Rhimes promises a better “Grey’s” than ever. This season will feature a “Private Practice” crossover in the third episode, and a new character will be brought in to help the doctors deal with the aftermath of the bloodbath. The sixth season finale showed glimpses of the quality “Grey’s” had achieved earlier in the show’s run, and hopefully it can climb back to those heights. —Georgie Morvis
“$#*! My Dad Says” (CBS, 8:30 p.m.)
Yes, CBS’s new comedy “$#*! My Dad Says” stars William Shatner, and yes, the Twitter account on which it is based has over 1,500,000 followers, but…wait, what? CBS green-lighted a sitcom based on a Twitter account? The inspiration for the new show is the account of one Justin Halpern, a twenty-something who has had to move back in with his parents, including his angry old dad. It’s hard to see this becoming anything more than 22 minutes of hateful one-liners, but for TJ Hooker, we’ll give it a shot. The Twitter insults are pretty searing and funny, but they’re also salty. The last quote without some kind of profanity in it was posted on June 17th. If CBS can’t even bring themselves to call the show by its real name, we feel justified in our worry that they’ll bowdlerize the whole series, and there’s little worse than castrated blue comedy. —Steve Hardy