Cadenza
In memoriam: Netflix content that I won’t miss
Gone yet not forgotten, a few iconic films and television series will desert our Netflix repertoire this month. While Netflix can often overwhelm its subscribers with a plethora of quality entertainment to choose from, some of its content isn’t as promising. Here’s a eulogy for a few offerings I will not miss:
“Ella Enchanted”: I’d like to remind you of the two millennial childhood staples you ruined. Remember Newbery Honor books? Remember a version of Anne Hathaway that people didn’t hate? Whether it was your completely rewritten plot or dance sequence/cover of Queen’s “Somebody to Love” that still haunts my dreams, I think that I can point to you as marking the end of my childhood. Ever since you left Netflix on Oct. 1, you’ve been less likely to inflict that pain on other precocious children, and for that, I can only be grateful.
Oct. 1 also marked the departure of “Saturday Night Live: The 2010s: Season 37” from Netflix, leaving Season 38 to stand its ground on the site alone. Season 37, you were actually pretty monumental compared to other recent seasons, considering you featured the final appearances of Kristen Wiig, Abby Elliott and Andy Samberg as cast members. Your choices of hosts, on the other hand, ranged from mildly entertaining (Lindsay Lohan) to desperate (Eli Manning). Thank you, Netflix, for eliminating Lana Del Rey’s infamous butchering of her own music from our queues. What a blessing for hopeful Netflix-and-chill-ers.
We also said farewell to “Twilight” on Oct. 1. Now, it will be exponentially more difficult to play Stephenie Meyer-inspired drinking games, in which participants swig their beers whenever Bella cries. While I’m sure you got your fair share of views from nostalgic college students and teenyboppers who are scarily into vampires, your time has passed. It’s time to let go and join the leagues of FX Saturday night movie reruns.
And finally, “Bruno” (which will leave Oct. 16): I never saw you. But I did see “Borat,” and that was enough.