Sex, drugs and WTF

Top 10 Rock ‘n’ Roll Myths

| Cadenza Reporter

David Bowie performs live on the Plaza at Rockefeller Center as part of NBC’s “Today” show Toyota Concert Series on Thursday, Sept. 18, 2003. (Nicolas Khayat | MBR)

10) Mick Jagger and David Bowie Play Hide the Sausage

If you believe Bowie’s ex-wife, she caught The Thin White Duke in bed with dozens of men, most notably the rooster-strutting Rolling Stone. This would be higher ranked if it weren’t so eerily believable. The bisexual, androgynous Bowie and Mick; the excessive rock star who could just as easily impregnate a woman as look at her? Both men deny the claim, but we’ll reserve judgment.

9) Marilyn Manson Surgically Removes a Set of Ribs

Several lady celebrities have been accused of removing ribs to appear thinner, such as Cher, Pam Anderson and Britney Spears, but Brian Hugh Warner (aka Marilyn Manson) has a much more…colorful story. The shock rocker supposedly had at least two ribs taken out to become more flexible; specifically, flexible enough to perform autofellatio.

8) Robert Johnson Sells His Soul for Chops

1930s bluesman Robert Johnson was such a prodigious guitarist that listeners began rumoring that he had earned superpowers through occult transactions and sorcery. Johnson did little to quell the stories, hiding his hands during shows so that the audience couldn’t see what he was up to, like using sawed-off bottlenecks as early slides. It also probably didn’t help that his most famous song was “Cross Road Blues.” For those unfamiliar with Mississippi Delta folklore, the crossroads were where the living could meet spirits, and in the song Johnson is forsaken by none other than God himself.

7) Elvis Flies Cross-Country for a Sandwich

This one’s real. In his fat days, The King’s snack of choice was The Fool’s Gold Loaf—a monster of a sandwich made by hollowing out an entire loaf of bread and filling it with a jar each of peanut butter and jelly and loading it up with a full pound of bacon. In 1976, Elvis got a hankering for one of these beasts, but would only accept the original from the Colorado Mine Company in Denver, Colo. Problem was, Elvis was in Graceland, Tenn. So began the most staggering munchies run in history, costing $3,387 and covering over 2000 miles.

6) Listening to Judas Priest Can Trick You into Killing Yourself

The myths surrounding backmasking, or implanting backward subliminal messages in music, are nearly as old as records themselves. In 1990 Judas Priest was tried for the suicides of two fans who allegedly killed themselves because they heard the backmasked lyrics “do it” on “Better By You, Better Than Me.” The case was dismissed when vocalist Robert Halford questioned why anyone would try to kill off their own fans and said that he’d rather backmask, “buy more of our records.”

5) Tie: Keith Richards Snorts Dad’s Ashes, Replaces Own Blood

We could have done an entire article of just bizarre Richards myths, but these two go above and beyond. In 2007 Richards joked that the strangest thing he’s ever snorted was cocaine cut with his own father’s ashes. In 1973, it was reported that as a result of all his hard partying on a European tour, Richards underwent an experimental procedure in either Germany or Switzerland to detox by replacing all his drugged-up blood with a clean sample.

4) The Ohio Players Caught on Tape Murdering a Prostitute

There are several variations of this story. Essentially, at 2:24 in the song “Love Rollercoaster,” an out-of-place, chilling scream can be heard in the background. Some claim that a rabbit was killed in the studio and made a screaming noise. Others say the manager or one of the techs killed a hobo or a prostitute. The most complete (and verifiably false) story is that the model on the cover of the band’s album was injured during the photo shoot, destroying her career. The scream was either her crying from the injury or when she was later murdered by the manager after she threatened to sue.

Paul McCartney performs at halftime of Super Bowl XXXIX (Patrick Schneider | MBR)

3) Paul is Dead

According to legend, the real Paul McCartney died in a car accident in 1966 and was replaced by an imposter. The Beatles supposedly have left clues to this affect, including Lennon whispering, “I buried Paul,” at the end of “Strawberry Fields Forever.” The cover of “Abbey Road” is allegedly a funeral procession in which the Fab Four are dressed as a minister, undertaker, gravedigger and corpse. The Paul imposter is usually given as Billy Shears, whose name The Beatles later used as the fictional leader of their alter-ego, The Lonely Hearts Club Band.

2) KISS Writes Comic Books in Their Own Blood

OK, this is another true story. Gene Simmons might not really have grafted a cow’s tongue into his mouth, and the band’s name doesn’t actually stand for “Knights in Satan’s Service,” but the glam rockers did mix vials of their own blood into the red ink for their 1977 comic book “KISS” published by Marvel. Try not to lick your fingers to turn the page. Other interesting KISS merch includes official KISS condoms, perfume and caskets.

1) Led Zeppelin Gratify a Groupie with a Carnivorous Fish

When Led Zeppelin stayed at Seattle’s Edgewater Inn, they liked to fish out the window and they liked to party with groupies—and at least once these two pleasures combined in the most horrifyingly sexual way. According to biographer Stephen Davis, one night the band inserted a mud shark into a bound red-headed groupie. The group’s manager, however, vehemently denies this claim. According to him, they used a snapper (a red snapper for her red snapper) and she came 20 times. The mud shark comes from a different incident years later in the same hotel when the band caught about 30 and hid them throughout the hotel.

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