Grammy Preview

| Cadenza Staff
(From left to right: Joost Vanderdeelen, Graham Blackall , David M. Warren | Philadelphia Inquirer | MCT, Kittysocks | Flickr)

(From left to right Joost Vanderdeelen, Graham Blackall , David M. Warren | Philadelphia Inquirer | MCT, Kittysocks | Flickr)

Record of the Year

Percy: Alright, let’s start at the top. Record of the Year?
Cici: I so want to say Lady Gaga, but “Bad Romance” is clearly her finest work. I’m throwing in for T-Swizzle.
Percy: I want to give it to Taylor, I really do. But Lady Gaga came first, before all of this “You Belong with Me” and Kanye’s disrespect.
Cici: And she completes you?
Percy: And yes, she does complete me. Even if she loses on Sunday, I’ll still have a home for her in here (points to his heart).
Cici: I’ll give bonus points for the hairbow, but “You Belong With Me” is better than “Poker Face.” Except when read by Christopher Walken.
Percy: Or Cartman.
Cici: Or both! (Note: Call record label. Ask about supergroup possibilities)

Should Win: Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
Will Win: Lady GaGa, “Poker Face”
Other Nominees: Beyoncé, Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon

Album of the Year

Percy: Album of the Year?
Cici: “I Am… Sasha Fierce,” hands down. It’s Beyonce’s best work by far. There are too many good singles, and let’s be honest: our culture will be judged by future civilizations based on the “Single Ladies” dance.
Percy: Oh hold on.
Cici: (Just please don’t say Dave Matthews. Then we can’t be friends anymore)
Percy: Ha, please, I’m not my mom.
Cici: ZING!
Percy: I’m going with “Sasha Fierce” too. Like I told you earlier, I’m not a single lady myself, but I know exactly what Beyonce is talking about. Also, just think about “Sasha Fierce.” One artist. Two personalities? It’s like an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress wrapped in a Grammy.
Cici: This is why we’re friends.
Percy: And who do you think will win?
Cici: Beyonce, no problem.
Percy: Yeah, this category is sort of a wash.
Cici: It’s not our bad we’re crazy in love with her.
Percy: Whoa, nice reference.

Should Win: Beyonce, “I Am…Sasha Fierce”
Will Win: Beyonce
Other Nominees: Dave Matthews Band, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas

Best New Artist

Cici: Mmkay, best new artist?
Percy: Yes, or as it’s always been known, “That Crazy Category.” Are any of these bands actually new?
Cici: Haha, no! God, how long has MGMT been at it?
Percy: I looked it up using Cadenza’s Super Computer. Which took me to Wikipedia, where I found out they formed in 2002.
Cici: Back when they were still The Management?
Percy: Yup. Maybe the Grammys just got confused after they changed their name.
Cici: Wouldn’t surprise me! Hold on. All-knowing and all-seeing Cadenza Super Computer, when was the Ting Tings’ iPod commercial?
Percy: Let me see… It just sent me a fax: “May 22, 2009, but don’t hold me to that.” Well, that’s interesting.
Cici: That is! The fact that none of the best new artists are new aside, who do you think should get it?
Percy: MGMT, because psychedelic rock never gets old. Also, MGMT made me love “Sex Drive,” and it was not a good movie.
Cici: Haha, I’m not 100% sure about that. And does anyone know any songs besides “Time to Pretend”?
Percy: Uhh, err, welll… who do you think should win?
Cici: The Ting Tings. They’re beyond catchy, and “That’s Not My Name” on repeat got me through finals. (I should also mention that I love Silversun Pickups, but I saw them right after Snoop Dogg at Lolla, at which point I loved everything.) Hey look, it’s Steve!
Steve: The Silversun Pickups are so hip that I’m almost afraid not to pick them. Oh, plus they deserve it.
Percy: Wow. That’s a lot better than my reasoning. But I’m not changing. Hey, where’d Steve go?…
Cici: Fair enough. I should admit that I’m very impressed by MGMT’s achievement. “Sex Drive” was terrible.
Percy: I think that’s something we can both agree on. I can’t believe I gave that four out of five stars.
Cici: We were young and naive. Don’t feel bad. It takes time to become the jaded, world-weary consumers of pop culture we are now.
Percy: Ah, College.
Cici: (Heavy sarcasm? Draw your own conclusions!)

Should Win: MGMT
Will Win: The Ting Tings
Other Nominees: Silversun Pickups, Zac Brown Band, Keri Hilson

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

Percy: Right on. OK what’s next? Best Female Pop Vocal Performance. That’s a mouthful.
Cici: Too true. I adore Pink, and “Sober” is one of her best. The Grammy should be hers, but Taylor’s probably gonna take it.
Percy: Taylor Swift should send Kanye something for his birthday, seriously.
Cici: Also, anyone that can turn one breakup into both “So What” AND “Sober” deserves a small parade. Look, Steve’s back!
Steve: I want Ms. Swift to win. She’s the 2009 Shania Twain. Or the 2009 Dixie Chicks if they were hotter, more accessible and better. This is a terrible metaphor…
Percy: That’s weird, he disappeared again. By the way, have you ever heard Katy Perry perform live? She’s awful.
Percy: She’d probably win Best Female Studio Award, Best Editing, Best Cover-Up…
Steve: I’d answer, but I’m too busy singing along to Hot N Cold in my head.
Percy: What? Where’d you come from? And now he’s gone again. STOP HIM.
Cici: And she just got engaged to Russell Brand! Grammys are the least of her worries.
Percy: Wow I forgot about him.
Cici: Didn’t we all…
Percy: Maybe if she and Zooey Deschenal could do a switcheroo, things would be right again. I’ve seen Elf. Zooey can sing.
Cici: (Katy’s also in for Best-Now-I-Can’t-Use-Cherry-Chapstick-In-Public-You-Jerk.)
Percy: (It’s good to see that you’ve gotten over your repressed memories.)
Cici: (They’re down there pretty deep.)
Percy: (I want to turn that into a “that’s what she said,” but it’s just not working.)

Should Win: Pink, “Sober”
Will Win: Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
Other Nominees: Katy Perry, Adele, Beyonce

Best Pop Vocal Albums

Percy: I’m a horrible editor. I haven’t listened to any of the Best Pop Vocal Albums.
Cici: Yikes. This is why you keep me around.
Percy: Do the albums really need to contain 51% or more playing time of vocal tracks?
Cici: Oh yes, they’re very picky about that 1%. It’s not something to be taken lightly.
Percy: Wow, Grammys = Serious Business. Who knew?
Cici: This one should and will be Pink. God knows she deserves it!
Percy: I agree with you…but only because your opinion is the only one I’ve heard. And that’s good enough for me!
Cici: Chalk another point for meeeee!
Percy: Wait, we’re keeping score?

Should Win: Pink “Funhouse”
Will Win: Pink
Other Nominees: Black Eyed Peas, Colbie Caillat, Kelly Clarkson, The Fray

Best Rock Song

Cici: Best Rock Song?
Percy: I thought it would be “21 Guns” for me…
Steve: Shut up, Percy, don’t let Green Day and their two chords win.
Percy: What? Who said that? You know, I just can’t stand…
Cici: I should preface this by saying that Green Day is my favorite band of all time, but “21 Guns”was my least favorite off the new album.
Percy: …75% of that album.
Cici: So I’m crazy torn.
Percy: Really?
Cici: WHAT?!?!
Percy: Ahahaha, hold on. This just got serious.
Percy: I don’t want to sidetrack the debate…but “21 Guns” was your least favorite?
Cici: Yeah, it was! With the possible exception of “Last of the American Girls.”
Percy: Are you on some sort of crazy drug?
Cici: Don’t they screen for that when we hire editors?
Percy: Yes, but we don’t test for the harder stuff. So you don’t want it to be “21 Guns” (even though you do).
Cici: Yeah… I’m voting for it anyway.
Percy: Oh great. I thought we were going to have a problem.
Cici: Heavens no! I liked “Use Somebody,” but I can’t desert GD.
Steve: “Use Somebody” was perhaps the best single on a stellar album. The only knock against it is that even such a good song as this can be overplayed.
Cici: I think Steve is some sort of ghost.
Percy: Yea, I don’t think I can vote against a band I saw in concert last summer.
Cici: I knew there was a reason we were friends. (Just kidding, there are many.)
Percy: (What a combo we make.)

Should Win: Green Day “21 Guns”
Will Win: Green Day
Other Nominees: U2, Pearl Jam, Kings of Leon, Bruce Springsteen

Best Rock Album

Cici: So I bet you can predict my answer for Best Rock Album?
Percy: Um, let me see….Wait, could it be…Green Day?
Cici: 100 points!
Percy: Strangely enough, I want U2 to win. And I didn’t see them in concert.
Cici: Really?
Percy: Yeah…
Cici: Explain yourself!
Percy: Look, “How to Disassemble an Atomic Bomb” was sort of a disaster for me.
Cici: And for everyone else involved.
Percy: But “Vertigo” was awesome…
Cici: …counting aside…
Percy: …but then everything else…meh. And that made “Vertigo” not so awesome.
Cici: Very true.
Percy: Reason number catorce I like “No Line on the Horizon” is that it just feels epic coming out my iPod.
Cici: “American Idiot” changed music history, and then they did it AGAIN. None of this slump-and-then-redemption nonsense.
Percy: Hey, keep on believing that. I’m just supporting the BEST BAND IN THE WORLD, that’s all.
Cici: You impugn my honor, sir. You really do. (You ignorant Philistine.)
Percy: God, I really hate it when people call me that.

Should Win: Green Day, “21st Century Breakdown”
Will Win: Green Day, “21st Century Breakdown”
Other Nominees: U2, AC/DC, Eric Clapton, Dave Matthews Band

Best Alternative Music Album

Cici: Alternative music is kind of a wash—it’s gonna be Phoenix, indie hipsters haven’t been this excited about a band since the Arcade Fire.
Percy: Oooh, ooohh! I know who Arcade Fire is!
Cici: Percy Olsen: Best Senior Cadenza Editor Ever.

Should Win: Phoenix
Will Win: Phoenix
Other Nominees: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Depeche Mode, Death Cab for Cutie, David Byrne & Brian Eno

Best Rap Song
Should win: Drake, “Best I Ever Had”
Will Win: Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West, “Run This Town”

Best Hawaiian Music Album
Should Win: Ho’okena, “Nani Mau Loa: Everlasting Beauty”
Will Win: Ho’okena
Other Nominees: Tia Carrere & Daniel Ho, Amy Hanaiali’i, Ho’okena, Various Artists in “Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar, Volume 2”

Sign up for the email edition

Stay up to date with everything happening as Washington University returns to campus.