Last-minute costume ideas

| Senior Cadenza Editor

(Patrick Ecclesine/Fox)

Unlike someone I know, you probably haven’t been planning your seven different Halloween costumes since last April. But the most important of all college holidays is merely days away. And if you are still struggling to come up with an idea that is clever, funny and cheap, don’t enter crisis mode just yet, because Cadenza is here to provide some inspiration for some simple, last-minute costume ideas that at least match one of those stipulations—mostly the “cheap” one.

Liz Lemon: I have found that “30 Rock” is applicable to nearly every aspect of my life. To be Liz Lemon, all you need is a “man shirt,” some Tina Fey glasses and a pair of left-handed scissors. Oh, and don’t forget to have food crumbs in your hair and a bra that’s held together with tape. It also helps to look extremely stressed and tired—which shouldn’t be too big of a stretch. Exhibiting feelings of debilitating loneliness is just the icing on the cake.

A Wild Thing: So you’re not really into the whole being-middle-aged-and-depressed thing. Revert back to your childhood and dress up as Max from “Where the Wild Things Are.” A Onesie would work best for this costume, but, sadly, they’re hard to come by and usually expensive if you do. An alternative would be just to grab some gray sweatpants and a sweatshirt, tape on some ears, whiskers and fangs and to be the most adorable and comfortable Bauhaus attendee to date.

Kate Gosselin: This one’s all in the hair. Straighten the front into weird side bangs and spike the back? Tease the back? I have no idea how this “woman” does it. But if you can figure it out, you’ve got this costume in the bag. Right, so the hair, some business casual clothes and the ability to hate your own children.

Balloon Boy: Just grab random objects—some Christmas lights, old photographs, a toy or two, and attach them to yourself, because you were in the attic the entire time. This one is great for those of you who are able to vomit on cue, especially if you get asked any questions that imply you are a member of a media-hoarding idiot family.

The House from “Up”: Speaking of balloons, our genius music editor came up with this one. All you need is a cardboard box and around 10,000 balloons. Well, I guess just a lot of balloons will do. Maybe you can even hire a curmudgeonly octogenarian and a Boy Scout to drag you around all night.

Sue Sylvester from “Glee”: One of the best new characters on television, Sue Sylvester, played by the impeccable Jane Lynch, is the no-nonsense coach of the award-winning “Cheerios” squad. This costume just requires a tracksuit and the ability to pull off quotes like “And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.”

Chris Brown and Rihanna: A costume for you couples who think being Jim and Pam from “The Office” is too blasé. You just need makeup and a fake restraining order. And people being Rihanna should keep any dancing and singing abilities they claim to possess hidden, much like the real Rihanna does.

Tobias Funke: Cutoffs. Blue paint. Homoerotic subtext. Done.

Sign up for the email edition

Stay up to date with everything happening as Washington University returns to campus.