Washington University announced its tuition for the 2014-15 academic year Friday morning, set at $45,700. For a lot of people, that’s a lot of money, so we thought of some “better” uses for your (parents’) hard-earned money.

• 9,140 Subway footlongs (1.73 miles of sandwich) – don’t you measure your sandwiches in miles?

• 9,050 half-and-halfs – those 5.7 million calories will keep you warm this winter.

• 35 season tickets for the St. Louis Cardinals – and that’s just the cheap seats.

• 326 pink Disney Princess electric scooters – enough to start your own motorcycle gang.

• 6,575 bananas fosters from Ibby’s – because that’s the only thing anyone ever buys at Ibby’s (until they turn 21, at least).

• A trip to the Winter Olympics for you and five other friends!
— $4,286 for round-trip plane fare – on Air Canada at that!
— $1,450 for a Class A ticket to the Opening Ceremony – you have a decent chance of seeing Lolo Jones’ face!
— $987 for a ticket to the gold medal game in men’s ice hockey – cheer on the stars and stripes in style, with these almost-at-the-glass seats!
— $580 for a ticket to the finals of the women’s figure skating contest – you’ll be close enough to the action to actually see the Russian judge accepting bribes!
— $1,073 for a ticket to the Closing Ceremony – the perfect nightcap to an unforgettable vacation.
— $1,584 (or $88 per night for the 17 nights) for the last room at Na L’vovskoy “hotel” in Vardane, Russia—only 12 miles from the actual city! Too bad there isn’t a hotel with more than one room available within 40 miles of the city center.
— $298 remaining for all the food and souvenirs you may actually require

• 4,687 evening tickets at the AMC Esquire on Clayton Road – you’re pretty much set for every Friday night date for the next 45 years.

• 9 Clydesdales – that’s one horse fewer than required to pull over ton of Budweiser.

• 57 Persian cats – note: does not include fancy feasts, grooming, or cat sweaters.

• 82 shares of Apple stock – imagine how many you could have bought in the early 2000s.

• 99,347 stamps – single-handedly keep the postal service afloat.

• 6.5 hours of Clayton Kershaw’s new contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers – his time is valued at $215 million over seven years, or slightly more than your average b-school graduate will make out of college.

• This house on Michigan Avenue in Benton Park West in St. Louis – finally leave ResLife for good.

• 3 dining bay windows in South 40 House named after yourself – immortalize yourself until they renovate SoFoHo again in like five years.

• And two years’ tuition at Fontbonne University! Learn more, be more.