Well, everyone, the end is near. I’m about to watch the premiere of Sarah Palin’s reality show on TLC, called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”. Join me on this journey if you dare. Don’t forget to refresh the page!
7:59 – I actually feel nervous. This is no joke.
8:00 – It has begun. Alaska is beautiful. That’s the best possible conclusion I can take from this show.
8:01 – It took one whole minute, but she fired a gun.
8:02 – “You can see Russia from here–almost!” So pop culture-savvy.
8:02 – Also, literally vomming at whatever this god-awful theme song is.
8:03 – Haha, her kids tune out the high pitch of her voice, too. And call her Sarah. Piper is totally going to rebel in a HUGE way.
8:05 – Okay, so the guy living next door is writing a book about her, so Todd built a 14-ft fence, and she clearly sees it as an example for what the nation should do with our border. Good, good.
8:07 – I think she just made an unintentional Back to the Future reference.
8:11 – A bear is lunging at their boat–cut to commercial break. Will she be tragically ripped to shreds? We can only hope.
8:15 – She speaks to Todd the same way she talks to her children. He has no response, basically ever.
8:19 – Another commercial break with the exact same “approaching bear cliffhanger”? Really?
8:22 – A surprising lack of commercials targeted at a specific demographic beyond the normal TLC viewers
8:23 – Her kids are cute, and most certainly smarter than her already: “If we had bears in Wasilla, I would be outside every day with popcorn on a chair. You wouldn’t even need the movie.”
8:26 – She just asked Willow to find some buttons to push. What does that mean?
8:30 – I honestly have not heard Todd say more than three words so far.
8:31 – “Why do I need luck to talk to Bill O’Reilly?”
8:32 – Hahaha, we can only hear her side. Meaning her being constantly interrupted.
8:33 – There is a purple swirly vest and a pink long sleeve shirt being rocked right now. I never thought I’d miss the red power suits.
8:42 – They took an RV to Mount McKinley to go climbing but the weather prevented them, so they went home and then back the next day. Why? Isn’t that the question.
8:44 – Okay, we get it, you like your BlackBerry. My deepest apologies that you can’t take it on the breathtaking glacier with you
8:45 – Sarah and Todd have been together for almost 30 years?!?!?
8:49 – Too. Many. Commercials. Not that the show is particularly riveting, but it’s better than “Sister Wives: Honeymoon Special” promos.
8:53 – In the promo for next week, Bristol says “Mom. Get your prom hair and go back home.” Score.
8:54 – She is handling hiking and climbing this glacier WAY better than I expected, or than I would.
8:55 – In a rare verbal moment, I think Todd just called her “Juicy” as a nickname. Ew. Ew. EW.
8:56 – Okay, now shes screaming and whining and yelling at their random tour guide “I WAS NOT A CHEERLEADER OR GYMNAST.”
8:57 – “I WAS SO COCKY, NOW I’M BEING PUNISHED FOR IT.” I’ll just let that one sink in.
8:58 – “TODDDD!” His face shows no recognition of his own name.
8:59 – It took her 45 minutes, but she climbed up a small portion of a rock.
9:00 – My roommate is connecting to Sarah because they both pronounce their vowels strangely. Oh no, it’s working…..
Tags: sarah palin's alaska, tlc
The more I read, the more difficult to stop reading it is.