I’m sure a lot of you have seen the episode of “Family Guy” that involves Meg having “ear sex.” That’s right-an expression of love involving the insertion of the male sex organ into his partner’s ear. This episode was particularly hilarious, since it addressed the issues couples face when they decide why, when and how to have sexual relationships.
Of course, people can have sex (or ear sex, or oral sex or abstinent relationships) for many reasons. Clearly it’s important to consider not only your own but also your partner’s personal desires, moral beliefs, religious interests and comfort level in the relationship. If there’s anything that one person isn’t ready for, it shouldn’t be done. If a long-term relationship is what you’re looking for, make sure your partner’s in it for the long haul too; if you just want someone to snatch up for the night and return in the morning, make sure he or she is also looking for that from you.
Also, there’s still some controversy over what actually counts as “sex.” Some say it’s only vaginal intercourse; others say virginity is lost when oral sex occurs. I say it’s about the way what you’re doing makes you feel. If sex is pure fun to you, just remember that to someone else it may be the ultimate expression of love, and to someone else it may be what consummates a marriage. (These can all overlap, obviously.)
If you get the same emotional connection or pleasure out of oral sex, that’s great too. Or if ear sex is what fl oats your boat, rock on and lose your ear virginity.
Short- and long-term physical relationships take a lot of trust, thought, discussion and experimentation; so does love. There are countless ways for couples to express devotion and care in physical and nonphysical ways. You can write notes to each other, cuddle up and watch a movie, get a little playful in bed or, like Meg and her boyfriend, get a little creative. As long as you know what messages you’re sending and you are ready to take on the delights and challenges you’ll encounter, you’re all set to give and receive great feelings.
These were more or less (read: a little bit) like the ideas found in the “Family Guy” episode. Meg made decisions and discoveries about love, “real” sex and ear sex, although it only took her 23 minutes or so. Our lives are so full of possibilities for interpersonal emotions, symbolism and physicality that sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’ve got to be introspective to know how to handle it all. Through that introspection, love yourself and know yourself. Give what you want to give; don’t let anything be taken away from you.
As you find, keep or even end relationships, keep a level head. Remember the people who’ve been there all along, remember the good times in all of your relationships, and love, in different ways, as many people as you can. If you choose to have what Borat calls “sexy time,” be safe, careful and confident. And the next time you run into someone from Wash. U.’s a cappella group More Fools than Wise, let them do what they do best-“giving it to ya in the earhole.”