Super Bowl XXXIX featured an excellent game between the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles. Just as appealing to television audiences were the commercials interrupting the game. Unfortunately, this year featured a host of uncreative and uninspired commercials. With the exception of a few ringers, the “bathroom break” time-slot was filled with awkward silences and sub-par messages. We, however, have still worked hard to bring you our personal Top 10 List of Super Bowl commercials that were fantastic displays of advertising prowess:
10) “LeBronilicious” – Though there was nothing spectacular about this Bubblicious commercial, the cameo commercial appearance of NBA phenom LeBron James chewing and popping his own flava’, sticking his chewy goodness all over his face, made it worthy of comment.
9) “Monkeying Around” – Despite CareerBuilder.com’s improper use of Linnaeus’ taxonomic system, clearly classifying the Chimpanzees featured in this commercial as apes, NOT monkeys, the superfluous use of our closest common ancestor was met with great appreciation by many viewers. The use of technical props, such as Whoopee cushions and desk chairs, flung this otherwise mediocre series of commercials into our Top 10.
8) “Does Diet Make Me Gay?” – This Diet Pepsi commercial featuring a star-studded cast all pursuing a rather handsome Diet Pepsi drinker was confusing at first with Cindy Crawford’s cameo. The commercial achieved its one moment of brilliance, however, with Carson of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” who stared intently at the posterior of the Pepsi drinker and incited a throng of hungry onlookers.
7) “Annie in Pads?” – This self-promotional NFL commercial had the potential to be the most annoying of commercials with NFL stars such as Ben Roethlisberger and Joe Montana all singing the exasperating vocals of “Tomorrow,” from the musical “Annie.” What propelled it into our Top 10 was the final message displayed in text on screen: “Tomorrow. We’ll All Be Undefeated Again.”
6) “Star-Crossed Lovers” – Cadillac did an excellent job in this spot, in which a high-speed chase between a father and his eloping daughter ends in the father’s blocking of traffic. A protest by the daughter arguing her right to marry her boyfriend is quickly subverted by dear ol’ dad, whose single-minded quest all along was the safe return of his precious Cadillac. “It’s okay,” he says. “Just take your mother’s car.” Hilarious.
5) “Can’t Touch This” – The anachronistic appearance of 80’s star MC Hammer, donning his ever-present parachute pants, was enough to secure this Lay’s commercial in our Top 10 shrine, but its path to the Top 5 was guaranteed by a bunch of pre-pubescents hurling him over a fence and off the screen, where he belongs.
4) “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” – Ameriquest did a fantastic job with its series of commercials, warning viewers to not judge a book by its cover. The combination of an upstanding businessman announcing in his hands-free mobile device that the person on the other line is being robbed, with a tomato-lathered kitty cat staring down a butcher knife is a classic.
3) “Pictures from Mardi Gras” – Budweiser’s witty combination of the camera phone, football, and straight-up macking created a tour de force of comedy. That’ll teach all you ticket holders to leave your significant others at home when you go to the big game.
2) “Drunken Skydiving” – Taking home the No. 2 spot on our coveted Top 10 list is another Budweiser commercial. Post- 9/11 aviation laws were clearly not being followed as the pilot threw caution (and his body) to the wind, leaving the cockpit and the airplane to the hands of a scared skydiver to go after a six-pack falling through 35,000 feet of air.
(Drum roll please….)
1) “10 Steps to Success” – FedEx and Kinko’s hit this nail on the head with their self-deprecating advertisement, claiming to study film better than the preceding nine members of this list. Displaying a stroke of comedic genius, they offered a 10-step formula guaranteeing its No. 1 place on our prestigious Top 10 list and a sacred spot in the annals of Super Bowl commercial lure. Dating back to the creation of time, the groin kick has left millions in pain and countless others in contorted laughter. This one was clearly no exception.