When last we left intrepid reporter Renee Hires, she was interviewing swimmers Eric Triebe, Mike Slavik, and Alex Antilla in their suite Wheeler 10 Awesome as they prepared for the nationals meet that took place this past weekend.
(Continued from Friday’s, “Three swimmers, one incredible friendship”)
Triebe picked up a small Nerf basketball and attempted to show me their latest way of wasting what little free time they have.
Triebe said, “We sit in that spot right there and shoot the ball into the net like so.”
“You missed!” Antilla said laughing.
“I missed because I wasn’t aiming,” said Triebe, but can he aim?
“Notice the athleticism,” said Slavik.
Indeed, the irony of Triebe is his uncanny ability to thrive in the water even though he humiliates himself in all other athletic endeavors.
“I’ve learned to deal with my un-athleticism,” said Triebe, but he argued that he can “dominate on the pickle ball court.” Actually, “I was nasty!”
Slavik said, “The real nickname for Eric is Mr. Athletic. It’s amazing that such a lack of coordination can be displayed by someone who is such a good swimmer.”
Along with Mr. Athletic, Triebe has acquired the nickname of Crabby Carl, to go along with Grumpy Gus and Antilla’s alter ego of Pouty Pete.
According to Triebe, the only important thing to remember about Carl is that “when pronounced properly it has four syllables, Ca-aa-ar-allll. But there is no reason for Carl.”
Antilla said, “He’s more of a scapegoat really. When you are mad at Triebe about something you just have to yell at Carl.”
Similarly, “Pouty Pete really comes out when Alex messes up. You have to hear Pouty Pete defend himself,” said Slavik.
“Case-in-point, said Triebe, “Pete came out one day when Alex drew on our dry erase board with a Sharpie. Now in his defense he said he had never seen or used or heard about a Sharpie because he is from Singapore, and they just have regular dry erase markers”
“They do! They do! No joke,” said Antilla.
“So,” continued Triebe, “apparently he had never seen a Sharpie even though we use one on our quote board. Alex just sat there like, ‘What? It’s my fault? I just found this marker over here and I used it on the dry erase board.’ He turns everything around and tries to blame it on us. But you know, it’s okay. He’s younger, and he just didn’t attend school they day they talked about Sharpies. He learned the hard way, but we fixed it. The worst part was, we offered a solution, but he was so pouty he just sighed a lot and stormed into his room for the night. While he went to bed Sullivan quickly fixed the problem, cleaning the board of Alex’s long message.”
“A long ‘love letter!,’ Antilla said.
Slavik said, “The only other nickname for Alex is little scrappy fighting dog because Alex is a scrappy kid. He was the runt on the soccer team. You know, the small guy in the hockey rink. Maybe he isn’t the strongest, but he gets an A for effort.”
“I don’t get pummeled though. I dominate!,” claimed Antilla.
“Denial. Denial. Repression. That’s pretty much Alex’s only nickname besides ‘that kid from Center Court,'” said Slavik.
“Yet he’s so happy and loveable,” said Triebe. On the other hand, there is Sullivan. “Sullivan O’ Sullivan McSullivich von Sullivich came about last year. We had a really big teammate named Victor Acevedo. One night earlier in the year he couldn’t remember Mike’s name so he was yelling to our Sigma Chi brother, now assistant coach, Brian Hindman, like, ‘That kid Mike Sullivan is…'”
Sullivan jumped in to explain, “Eventually Victor’s like, ‘This kid Mike Sullivan needs a ride home,’ and Brian is like, ‘Who the hell is Mike Sullivan? I don’t know this kid. I’m not giving him a ride home.'”
“But everyone calls him Sullivan now. I will call his mom and dad Mrs. and Mr. Sullivan. That’s just how automatic it is or how retarded I am,” said Antilla.
Now when it comes to deciding which of the three is the best swimmer, they cannot agree but still manage to make fun of Triebe’s limited athletic prowess.
Slavik said, “There are several reasons why I am the MVP of Wheeler 10-Awesome. Number one, I am obviously the best looking of the squad. I clearly have the most beautiful and conditioned hair. Possibly one of the most versatile swimmers, being especially dominant in the breaststroke and vertical kicking.”
“The obvious choice would be Eric Triebe,” said Triebe, dismissing Slavik’s claims. “I was UAA Rookie of the Year last year. I don’t care that Mike just swam four school records. The only reason he set the records is because they were previously his records from last year. And let’s be real, he swam slow times last year. I have not reset many of my records because I didn’t swim some of those events this year. I chose to aim for other events, the freestyle events. I am usually the top choice for the anchor leg of any relay, the anchor leg being obviously the most important leg of the relay. And speaking of versatile as Sullivan thought he was, I hold the 200 IM record for the school.”
Antilla just laughed at Triebe’s campaign and insisted, “Triebe’s un-athleticism nullifies all of his records, all of his anchor legs, and all of his versatility. I am clearly the best swimmer because when shaven, my legs are the prettiest. You can’t rebuff that either. I have the best mullet when properly groomed. And, batting third for me is…”
But that was it. He had nothing else.
Triebe finally said, “Honestly, I would like to think of the group as the best.”
With that issue settled, I then wanted to hear about what they did in their free time before they got their basketball hoop. That started yet another argument.
“Our current schedules really do not allow for much free time, between academics and swimming schedules, and we have to get to bed relatively early,” Slavik said. “But we usually have some time between 8:00 and 10:00 at night as free time where anything can be done.”
For example, “Madden tournaments are key. I’m the reigning champion. Alex is the champion!”
“Are you kidding? I beat you,” said Triebe.
“I won two!”
“You didn’t beat me. Please! Stop lying. I hate liars.”
“You are not the champion!” Antilla contested.
“I’m descended from one.”
“Anyhow, that’s our time for video games and any random events that come up. …” asked Slavik.
“Yes, we’re big sports fans. We’re building the dream team,” said Triebe. “We watch a lot of sports. That’s all we do really. Sportscenter is almost always on. We have a TV in the bathroom.”
“Absolutely! We mean it is on literally all the time. If the tv is on, Sportscenter is on,” agreed Antilla.
“What else do we do in our free time, man, besides make videos?,” Antilla said.
“I think the best thing about living together is some of the videos we make of each other,… Home videos!,” said Antilla. “For instance, one time we went sledding on the Wheeler stairs. Please don’t tell the bad people. We do lots of great things together. Like, we dance, a lot. And singing! ‘Clocks’ was probably the best home video we ever did. You know, Coldplay, ‘Clocks.’ We were doing these hand motions, and Triebe was on the floor.”
“I was first standing, and then Sullivan hit me in the no-no-bad-place. I dropped to the ground still videoing and they proceeded to dance and sing to me while I was on the floor, in pain, clutching,” said Triebe.
“And then we had ‘Not Gonna Get us.’ That’s a great song. ‘Toxic’ by Britney Spears is also good. It’s just spontaneous,” Antilla added.
“It’s about freedom, speech and love of the music and the people,” said Triebe.
Yes, love of the people. The three certainly have proved to have a special bond that only certain people under particular circumstances would ever form.
“It’s a fact that we do everything together, and that means that we know everything that there is to know and probably more than we would want to know about each other,” Slavik said. “Also, we cannot hide anything from one another. If and when it is found out that something has maybe not been addressed or has not been presented to the rest of the group, it’s just unbelievable. Social ridicule is in order.”
But they can make fun of each other, argue with one another and employ social ridicule all they want, but none of that can change that fact that the three guys are far more than just fellow swimmers. The ultimate understatement is that on top of being teammates, even fraternity brothers, and suitemates, they are unmistakably each other’s closest friends.