Bernell DorroughSports reporter Renee Hires sat down with soccer teammates, best friends, Sigma Chi brothers and juniors Josh Farber and Allen Gleckner to discuss such topics as food, short shorts and short people, favorite figures in acting, all-star meggers and aspirations for the future of men’s soccer.
Student Life: Why do you suppose your teammates insisted that I interview the two of you?
Josh Felber: We’re the most fun loving, entertaining and good looking.
SL: If you two could ask any one Bear athlete 20 questions who would you chose?
JF: I’d have to interview Mike Faherty, a guard of the men’s basketball team. I’d like to get inside his mind to sense what goes on with the fashion design major and self-proclaimed metro-sexual in him. He was a model for metro-sexuals on Good Morning America this summer.
Allen Gleckner: Well, I’d like to interview Alan Germano, a catcher on the baseball team, and ask him about his incredible weight gain in the off season in his quest to reach 250 by spring.
SL: It sounds as though you two have an interesting relationship with some of the basketball and baseball players, but what about your relationship with the women’s soccer team?
JF: I am very happy that they won the UAA Championships, but my feud with coach Dillinger has…
SL: What feud?
JF: Oh she got my number, and she kept calling me on the plane, talking trash to me. Me, being the nicest guy in the world, I just took it and tried to be the bigger person.
AG: Yeah, he didn’t want to sass back.
JF: But she was just relentless. She actually called while we were in the air, breaking FFA laws.
AG: We also have some beef with her because on any road trips they have to stop at the airport to eat every meal, and the guys have to sit on the bus and wait hungrily.
SL:Allen, let’s talk tennis. Were you really a Minnesota state champ in high school tennis rather than soccer?
AG: Yeah, it was nice to win a state championship. I really wasn’t one of the best players in the state, but my team was strong. I was better at soccer.
SL: So is that why you opted to play soccer instead of tennis here?
AG: No, I play soccer for the short shorts. The Wash U tennis team wears too long of shorts for my liking.
JF: The tennis thing is also about him trying to emulate Seth from the hit television show, the OC, on Wednesdays at 8pm. Ladies feel free to stop by the Sigma Chi house and watch it with us. Allen wants to be like Seth, who’s from Newport Beach, by playing country club sports.
AG: He’s my idol! I look at this picture I have of him on my desk for aspiration.
SL: What about you, Josh? Unlike Allen you’re actually from California. Tiburon? Is that near Orange County?
SL: As far as I can tell, Allen doesn’t have a Minnesota accent does he, Josh?
JF: No. No, not really, but I really wish that he did.
SL: Your team beat New York University 3-2 in overtime. Was that a memorable road trip?
JF: We had two great road trips, one to New York and Boston and one to Atlanta. On both trips we got to watch a movie with our favorite actress, Hillary Duff. We saw The Lizzie Miguire Movie for $11.50 or something like that and Agent Cody Banks.
SL: Which was more worth that kind of money?
AG: Lizzie Miguire was better only because there was more Hillary in it, but Agent Cody Banks definitely had a better plot.
SL: If someone made a movie about the soccer team, who would play each of you and what role would Hillary have?
AG: Seth would play me. That would be a dream. And for you, Josh, maybe Brad Pitt because of your sex appeal.
JF: Hillary would be one of my love interests, one of our love interests. She would be part of our love triangle and maybe our trainer too. We would love to cast Molly as herself, but if we had to cast an actress as our trainer, she would have to be Hillary Duff.
SL: You know, in a movie you could get away with changing a few things. If you could change to outcome of just one of game that you lost or tied this season which game would you chose to win?
AG: A tie is like a win to us so we’d want to tie a game we lost.
SL: Josh, will you be expanding the All-Meg Team next season too?
JF: Senior Johny Torres and I are co-captains of the All-Meg Team, and I’ll continue traveling the county trying to recruit the best meggers in the nation. We’re putting together a First Team All-Meggers. Megging someone is when you put the ball through another person’s legs, and usually a comment ensues as you make fun of that person.
AG: He actually got benched once for trying to meg people during a game.
JF: I was trying to do it against Case Western. I was 2 for 4, and that’s a pretty good percentage.
SL: As impressive as that may be, you also scored two goals and one game winner this season. But, so did Allen, so who would you say is the more valuable player?
JF: Well, in the SLIAC (St. Louis Inter-Collegiate Athletic Conference) games I have to give myself the nod, but in all other games I have to say Allen. I am hoping to make the All-SLIAC team. Joe tends to save me for those games.
AG: And I don’t really try in those games.
JF: Allen also gets the nod for best game winning celebration.
AG: I scored the winning goal against NYU. At the end of regulation we were tied 2-2, and we both had a yellow card. Joe thought of not putting us on in overtime, but then he still put me in because I’m taller.
JF: He scored, took his shirt off, and ran straight to the locker room with us racing after him.
AG: That was probably the fastest I’ve run all year.
SL: Okay, final question. Has it been difficult lately without soccer?
AG: Yes, without soccer I’ve been throwing up a lot lately. I think it has given me the flu.
SL: Then maybe you should start practicing those penalty kicks now.
JF: Actually, I’ve already been working out really hard so I can be like Bonzi Wells and start blacking out more in games.