Bernell DorroughStudent Life sat down with swimmer Alex Antilla to discuss topics as varied as his tie-dyed Speedo, the Texas Rangers and, of course, peeing in the pool.
Student Life: Marco
Alex Antilla: Polo
SL: Marco
AA: Polo
SL: George Bush recently welcomed his wife back from a trip to Europe with a poem. An excerpt from the poem reads, “Dear Laura/roses are red/violets are blue/oh my lump in the bed/how I’ve missed you.” More disturbing: that GW wastes time writing poetry rather than leading the country or that he affectionately refers to his wife as his lump in the bed?
AA: They’re both equally bad, but the lump in the bed is probably worse.
SL: At what grade level do you think you could write a better poem than the president?
AA: Second grade.
SL: The breaststroke-do women have an unfair, inherent advantage?
AA: I think the guys have the advantage, ’cause they’re more experienced. They’ve felt a lot of breasts.
SL: The Speedo: is there a purpose to the swimsuit or is it just an ego trip?
AA: Definitely just an ego trip. Practices are long and hard and the girls need something to look at during the long swims.
SL: Tell me about the tie-dye Speedo.
AA: Yes, I have a tie-dye Speedo. I needed an extra Speedo and my friend went out to buy one for me last year. He said there was only one left. I didn’t believe him. It’s the only one I have so I definitely sport it everyday.
SL: What about nicknames on the team?
AA: Well, a lot of the guys on the team like “Top Gun”-the movie-a lot, and we were acting out “Top Gun” on a volleyball court, you know the big volleyball scene? One of the freshmen wanted to be Goose, but we already had a Goose. So he had to be Meg Ryan, and he’ll be known as Meg Ryan forever.
SL: You’ve told me you took on the role of Maverick. How did you imitate Maverick when you were younger?
AA: I had asthma and I still have asthma. I used to take a nebulizer, which is just basically a breathing machine mask that you put over your mouth. So I used to sit in front of the TV with the mask on and pretend I was Maverick.
SL: Your roommate and teammate, Mike Slavic, is, of course, Goose. Would you still be able to swim if Slavic missed a meet?
AA: Well, after that, coach would probably want me back in the water right away. But I’d tell him I’ll swim when I’m goddamn good and ready! You got that?
SL: The final season of “Friends” has just kicked off. How do you think the cast would do in the pool? Who would be the best? Gotta be David Schwimmer, right?
AA: I guess David Schwimmer would be in the best in the water, but I would rather have Rachel.
SL: How do you like shaving your legs and other body parts?
AA: It feels great. It’s probably the most manly thing we do. It feels really good at night in bed, but I have actually cut myself a few times.
SL: How many times a week do you swim in the pool?
AA: I swim in the pool like 10 times a week. There’s definitely plenty of pee in it. I think I’m the only swimmer that doesn’t pee in the pool, actually. They tell me the chlorine gets rid of the piss, but I don’t buy into it.
SL: If peeing in the pool is cool, then who is the Miles Davis of the team?
AA: If peeing the pool is cool, then consider Brian Hindman Greg Louganis.
SL: You’re a Texas Rangers fan. Their first baseman, Rafael Palmeiro, is well-known for endorsing Viagra. Is his teammate Alex Rodriguez the next logical candidate to take over? He is A-Rod after all.
AA: I think A-Rod is too young. I’d probably go with R.A. Dickey. He’s certainly got the name.
SL: Thanks for the interview.
AA: No problem. You can be my wingman anytime.