Matthew Goldberg
Sports Editor
Outlook:
Once again, it’s time to talk about California and every sport besides football. Even though the Padres are not doing so hot this year, next year they will be better. And they will get to play in a brand new, gorgeous stadium, in the best city in the world. But then there is Ohio.
Game of the week: Cincinnati at Cleveland
In this Ohio battle, I gotta go with my mom’s home team, the Cleveland Browns. Though if you think about it, it’s Ohio. It doesn’t matter as much as Caliornia. California not only has 35 more electoral votes, it also has the recall.
Pankaj Chhabra
Sports Editor
Outlook:
The Bears open the renovated Soldier Field against the hated Packers on Monday night. The place looks like a spaceship that landed on the lakeside, and given the Bears’ recent efforts maybe the mayor’s office should look into the possibility that Chicago players have been anally probed.
Game of the week: Green Bay at Chicago.
Ahman Green will carry the load for the Pack, but the Chicago defense will try to swallow him up. Look for Brett Favre to rebound from his poor effort last weekend against Arizona.
Joe Ciolli
Sports Editor
Outlook:
According to recent reports, Donovan McNabb was caught this week by his mother getting down American Pie style with a can of Chunky Soup. After convincing her son to release some of his pent-up energy on the football field, Mrs. McNabb predicts a breakout game for young Donovan against the Bills this weekend.
Game of the Week: Jacksonville at Houston
David Carr has a really hot wife. It must be difficult for him to concentrate during the game knowing that he gets to go home with a beautiful woman.
Travis Peterson
Cadenza Editor
Outlook:
So, I was arguing with this dude about the difference between doom metal, death metal, and black metal, and he was getting all confused. You see, death metal’s really fast, and talking about violence and blood and stuff, black metal has cheesy keyboards and lots of lyrics about Satan, and doom metal’s really slow.
Game of the week: Arizona at St. Louis
Two 1-2 teams playing each other. Two teams connected to St. Louis playing each other. Could things be more boring? I say Arizona will win… because Jesus has deserted the Rams.
Ashley Malnove
80’s Fashion Designer
Outlook:
The 80’s aren’t as different from now as you think. The Lakers won two Championships: in 1987 against Boston, and in 1988 against Detroit. Today’s Lakers only won one more Championship in a row. Speaking of CA teams, the 49ers, along with the Chicago Bears, performed well, so people have told me.
Game of the week: Greenbay at Chicago
In honor of the Superbowl Shuffle, the Bears will win over the Cheeseheads. It may not be a repeat of the Bears’ 46-10 victory over the Patriots in 1985, but it will still be a good game.