Alyssa GregorySenior Brian Hindman sat down with us to discuss random topics such as staying in shape, hunting for jobs, and “swim-cest.”
Q: So you’re from Alabama.what do you do there?
A: Well besides picking cotton and riding tractors, you can practice your skeet shooting or dove hunting or clean the outhouse.
Q: Interesting. How has the team been doing this year?
A: Better than ever. We have the fastest team that WU has ever had. We got a lot of good freshmen, which hopefully will bring in more good freshmen. They’re kinda cool, except for this one kid who drinks chocolate milk through his nose.
Q: Describe a typical swim practice.
A: Well, we’d start out with some dry-land exercises, sit ups, throwing a medicine ball, lunges, jump rope, then we get in the water and do a warm-up set, followed by a kicking set or a pulling set. And then we usually break it down into like groups of either the butterfliers or backstrokers or whatever and everybody works their asses off in main set. Sometimes people throw up. Practice lasts a good three hours a day in the afternoon and two hours in the morning if you do the doubles. Doubles are twice a week.
Q: Don’t you get hungry? I mean if I worked out five hours a day I’d be starving.
A: Yes. That’s why Center Court is so good, except for the explosive diarrhea that comes afterwards.
Q: Do you have time to do anything else during the swim season?
A: Like other extracurriculars? No. Pretty much it’s eat, swim, eat, class/sleep, eat, swim, eat, homework, sleep.
Q. What’s the best part about getting up before class to work out?
A: I’m up in time to get breakfast sandwiches at Bear’s Den. They’re so good.
Q: How much do you guys interact with the women’s team?
A: Are you talking about in practice or “swimcestuously”?
Q: Well the second sounds more interesting. Tell me about that.
A: Swimcest is like floor-cest or incest or any other kind of -cest. It’s just wrong. It can lead to many kinds of problems.
Q: It seems like the swimmers are kind of cliquey. Why is that, Brian?
A: Because no one wants to hang out with swimmers cause they’re too weird. I mean really no one else likes their hair to turn white and fall out and the constant smell of chlorine. Most people get turned off by that but swimmers get turned on.
Q: How you get along with the rest of your teammates?
A: Not so well right now. They were jealous because I got to do a 20 questions. And we have one teammate in particular who has trouble keeping his mouth to himself. He bites, he claws, he gives wedgies.
Q: Do you haze the freshmen? Or only the ones you don’t like?
A: Yeah, we tie them to the bleachers and beat them with wet towels.
Q: Brian, you’re so violent.
A: Actually we sit in a dark room in our speedos passing a candle and swapping romantic stories.
Q: That’s better. So why should students come watch a swim meet?
A: [with a blank stare]. Ummm. ‘Cause..yeah. Next.
Q: Ok, here’s a question you’ll like. How many times a day do you pee in the pool?
A: At least two or three.
Q: Are you speaking for yourself or on behalf of the team?
A: Two is the minimum. But some people choose to pee more and I encourage it. We don’t have a baby pool so we have to pee in the big pool.
Q: Do swimmers drink a lot?
A: I think swimmers don’t drink often, like many times a week, but when it rains it pours. And by pour I mean the beer really pours.
Q: What’s your favorite bar?
A: Cusamano’s. Well, it used to be until it didn’t let me in because they didn’t think a passport was an official government ID, so I haven’t been there since.
Q: Do you enjoy shaving your entire body before conference?
A: It makes dressing up in drag a lot easier.
Q: How do you get along with the coaches?
A: The coaching staff is the reason I’ve been swimming for four years. They’re my favorite favorite favorite favorite. (Are you reading this Brad?)
Q: Do you do anything to stay in shape during the off season?
A: A lot of heavy lifting. and by lifting I mean lifting kegs of beer. But besides that, yes. In my imaginary happy fantasy world all I would have to do would be lift beer to my mouth, but unfortunately I have to do a lot of running. I actually try to avoid being at the pool.
Q: Do you think you’ll swim after college?
A: I’ll never be on a team again. I might swim occasionally. I don’t like to swim when you’re not on a team. Swimming by yourself is a lot harder, because you don’t have anyone else suffering with you.
Q: What are you going to do when you graduate?
A: I saw a job opening listed for Jack in the Box, which would be my dream job. That or I could find somebody to pay me to watch TV.
Q: Let me know when you find that. Well, I think we’ve surpassed 20 questions.any final thoughts?
A: Swimmers don’t get enough credit. Because we are the hardest working team with the longest season and we put our bodies through more hell than anyone else does.
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Brian Hindman:
Year: Senior
Birthday: October 28, 1980
Height: 6’
Hometown: Huntsville, AL
Worst class: Macroeconomics. It was the most boring and worst thing I’ve ever put myself through my life.
Favorite movie: Zoolander and Detroit Rock City
Favorite clothing: My John Deere hat that I got for five dollars at the flea market near Bland, Missouri.