To the reader: This article originally appeared in Student Life’s annual April Fools’ issue. Please don’t take anything in it as fact. We made it all up.
Due to the extreme popularity of the bunny with students and visitors alike, the administration has decided the bunny will replace the Bear as the WU mascot.
“We think this is the best choice,” said the administration. “With the bunny garnering so much positive attention and adding atmosphere to campus, it’s only right that the bunny replace the more aggressive, less politically correct bear.”
“Bears are an endangered species,” said another bunny supporter. “And they are so scary. We thought something less threatening would be better, not to mention more healthy to the student body.”
Since it’s placement next to Malinckrodt, the Bunny has caused quite a stir on the WU campus. Students were initially skeptical, but have warmed up to the large sculpture. It is “pranked” by those few wild students who dare and even sports t-shirts to support student events.
“No one is more involved on this campus than the bunny,” said one athletic department employee. “It’s everything we want our student-athletes to be. Involved, intellectual and full of school spirit.”
There are a few negative energies on campus that are harbor anti-bunny feelings. They feel the huge statue is grotesque, humorous, perhaps tormented by an eating disorder and in the words of one student, “Dude, it looks like its taking a dump.” These naysayers aside, the athletic department is ready to embrace the bunny as its figure-head.
Plans are in the works to dispose of the bear statue in front of the Athletic Center and replace it with a replica of the bunny on main campus. Production has already begun on stuffed, or should I say, less than stuffed bunnies. Most of the athletes are coming around to the change as well.
“It’s kind of lame, but I guess it can’t be a worse mascot than the Violets or the Maroons,” said a member of the track and field squad. “Those are colors, at least its still an animal. Do bunnies ever attack anything?”
The shift will be made next year and the administration would like it known that there is no truth to the rumor that the change is taking place because Chancellor Wrighton is terrified of Bears and can no longer attend basketball games for fear the mascot will eat him.