20 Questions with The Streak

Bob Kostass

To the reader: This article originally appeared in Student Life’s annual April Fools’ issue. Please don’t take anything in it as fact. We made it all up.

Q: I notice that you don’t look like the typical basketball. You also are wearing clothes. Do you wear this attire during the basketball games?
A: No, normally I find nudity brings good luck, but I do pick up some new clothes in my spare time at Build-A-Bear. Hey, did you see that new WU shirt the panda bear was wearing? It was great. I gotta get me one of those.
Q: I see. Ok, let’s talk a little basketball. How did you begin your career at WU?
A: Well, see, I was chilling at Sports Authority and they put my ass on clearence and all the
sudden I guess WU decided they could splurge on a new ball. So I ended up here.
Q: How did you decide to play for the women’s team, as opposed to the men’s?
A: Being that I’m a women’s-size ball, I figured that the women were the only way to go, if you know what I’m sayin’.
Q: Do many people recognize you around campus? I’d imagine you get noticed often, what with your reputation and all.
A: Well, the ladies recognize me, of course. But besides that, people don’t really know I exist. It’s kind of upsetting too, because after all I was around for 81 games.
Q: Do your limbs ever get in the way during the games?
A: I try and just hide them and act like a normal ball. But after the games….well, that’s a different story.
Q: Have you ever sustained any injuries from excessive bouncing?
A: Sometimes I feel light-headed, but I guess that’s cause I’m full of air. I mean, that makes sense, right?
Q: That’s true. Now, I have to ask you a sensitive question. How did you feel that fateful day at Fontbonne when you realized you were all over with?
A: Well at first, it was a little rough. I mean I never expected it to be over so abruptly. But I had a good run, and I did my best every game, so I just gotta think, “That’s life.” I’ve moved on.
Q: Do you plan to continue to start up your career again at WU or elsewhere?
A: Actually, I think I’d like to head over to Duke or Stanford. Since they’re Division I, maybe I’d get more exposure over there.

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