About twenty Pirates games, two Steelers games, three monster truck jamzzz and the Shriner’s circus. Yeah, that’s all I’ve ever seen at Three Rivers Stadium. You know, it’s kinda funny because I think I’m gonna miss it. I remember returning to my home in Pittsburgh this past year and hearing everybody say exciting things about the two new stadiums currently being built. The new baseball stadium will be the most technologically advanced stadium in the world, or at least that’s what I heard. La de da de da. Even more expensive hotdogs.
Originally, the baseball stadium was to be named Clemente Park in memory of the famous Puerto Rican with the gun and the 3,000 hits. The people in Pittsburgh are absolutely crazy about Clemente. More so than Chuck Noll.who’s that? Just kidding, but for those of you who don’t know he was the guy who coached the Steelers to four Super Bowl titles.
So really, what’s up with purchasing naming rights to a stadium? See, this bank in my town, just up the street from where I live, was always known to me as Pittsburgh National Bank. Soon it changed to Pittsburgh National Bank Corporation. Now they are known only as PNC. Next thing I know, I’m waiting in line at the Washington University bookstore in St. Louis and the guy in front of me pulls out a PNC card. I say like a schmuck, “Hey man, you from Pittsburgh?” It turns out that they have a PNC where he lives-Tennessee. I guess the bank pulled that Kentucky-Fried-Chicken-to-KFC-value-meal deal.
Of course, the new baseball stadium will be devoid of the name Clemente and become known as PNC Park. To me, this is sadder than Boyz II Men doing a Hardee’s commercial and actually singing the line “fresh tastin’ biscuits.” in their fresh soundin,’ post-Motown style.
So I guess what I find so interesting is the strange evolution of events that surrounds the whole issue of stadium naming. PNC Bank buys the naming rights to a new stadium from the city. People think the bank cares about baseball. The public forms a wholesome image of PNC Bank, and future people think “Hey they have a stadium!” These people trust the bank with their life’s savings. Indeed, this is exactly what the bank planners hope to happen. More money goes into their bank, and thus they become bigger and more successful because they loan out your money while you believe it’s collecting interest. Pretty sneaky.
Then, PNC Bank decides to name the new place PNC Park. All the Pirates fans say to themselves, “Man what’s their deal? That’s such a rip-off! What happened to Clemente?” The PNC marketing team would be baffled if so many people weren’t just pretending to like baseball. Otherwise the “fans” would be enraged that Clemente was not honored in a logical manner and choose to remove their money from the particular bank. I mean, the naming of a stadium in a sports-hungry town is well worth a great name that represents the city, such as the late Three Rivers Stadium. Worth switching banks, I hope.
Do the people take any more action? Nope, they feed the PNC monster more. So do I. I must admit that PNC does have control of my family’s money. How else would I have the card? But I don’t care about sports as much as some people do. I believe that many people who get really involved in sports have ulterior motives.
Take the guy who gets drunk at the baseball game. There are many like him. I honestly believe that if the game was already sold out when he went to buy tickets, he would go and get drunk somewhere else. In reality though, he is missing the game because he is screaming in my ear giving a high-five to the next drunk guy on the other side of my date. So are they really there for the sports? It’s doubtful. Otherwise, they would not allow this corporate naming because they care about where their team calls “Home.”
Soon enough it will be PNC Museum of Art, and then the PNC Penguins and I guess I’m just kind of sad that me, the guy who is supposed to dislike sports, is the only one from Pittsburgh that ever spoke up (I’m writing this, aren’t I?). There were no clipboards to sign, anti-PNC campaigns, or even sunny day strikes. There was none of that. I would have actually supported them, even if they did interrupt my dinner. Oh well, what can you do? Anyway, have a good week, and look out for March Sadness next week.