Who’s Who on Your Freshman Floor

Student Life Staff

Your freshman floor will be your new home at Wash. U. It’s a veritable melting pot of new ideas, diverse perspectives and fresh opinions. More importantly, it’s where most of you will learn to live with your peers away from home for the first time. While the school rightly prides itself on stimulating intellectual conversation spilling into the residence halls, one of the most important things you’ll learn in college will be how to get along with this crazy group of students from all different backgrounds. Sometimes, the most important thing you’ll learn each week won’t come from a physics class, but from the girl down the hall who just turned you on to an awesome new band or your roommate teaching you how to clean up your hard drive. There are a few especially important people who will contribute to the ecosystem of your freshman floor; get to know them.

The music aficionado
This is a great friend; he knows about acid jazz, zydeco and everything in-between. The music fanatic will be more than happy to burn you CDs of all these “awesome little indie bands that would totally be the next big thing except that their music is too deep for the big corporate labels, man” until you tell him to stop. Additionally, the music aficionado is always down to see a live show and will probably know all the obscure opening bands. He’ll usually try to get you to convert to his file sharing software so you can keep finding new artists; check with the computer whiz to make sure you won’t get arrested.

The guy who will play on all your IM teams
Many freshmen floors bond over Intramurals. And there are always those guys who will roll you out of bed on a Sunday morning to play anything from ultimate Frisbee to inner tube water polo. Always go. Even if your floor has all the combined athleticism of a potato, the games are a blast and the guy who will play on all your IM teams will make a great coach/head cheerleader.

The movie librarian
Sometimes you’ll just go nuts if you try to derive one more equation or read another act of Shakespeare. It’s times like these that it’s nice to spend a quiet weekend in the dorm with friends, PJs and popcorn. When you need to veg out, look for the movie librarian. Not every floor has one, but those who do cherish him. Boasting classics, popular new movies, foreign flicks and whole TV series, he runs a little Blockbuster right out of his room and can often suggest the perfect movie for you simply by looking deeply into your eyes for a few seconds.

The kid with extra meal points
On every floor, there is that lucky kid with a huge meal plan who can subsist on a mere bagel and some sushi day after day. Others are frugal and will be eating the special end-of-the-year lobster at Bear’s Den while you try to decide which clothes you wouldn’t mind selling to get enough scratch to survive on Ramen. Find the one who has more meal points than time to use them and remind him that they don’t carry over to the next year. What is he going to do, donate his points to charity while you’re starving next door?

The studious notetaker
We’d all like to be great students, and most of us go to most of our classes, but that 9 a.m. lab on Saturday morning is more than some of us can take. In times of crisis-midterms, the flu, etc.-find your floormate with the color-coded flashcards. His meticulous attention to detail is almost as good as you actually showing up to class. As long as you’re not a total mooch and have something intelligent to add to the conversation, this is a great person with whom to study.

The guy who can change your bed height
Listen up ladies! Able to move heavy furniture, deftly handle his tools and help lend a hand, the guy who can raise your bed is worth keeping around even after the first two days.

The person who knows absolutely everyone
This friend can’t walk into a room without getting hugged by about half the people around. A master networker, he is on the list for all the parties, is on a first name basis with a few deans and can always call in a favor. You’ll never know how this person got to know all his acquaintances, but try not to sweat it. He’s great for introducing you to new friends. Also, if you ever need to know about obscure medieval music or the literature of Mongolia, this person is likely to put a phone number in your hand before you can finish asking for help.

The guy with the air mattress
In a perfect world, your roommate would at least give you the courtesy of a phone call before cozying up with a romantic friend for the night. Unfortunately, every weekend, students get back to their room at 3 a.m. to find the tell-tale tie on the door handle. For those sexiles, the guy with the air mattress is a phenomenal asset. He’ll board you up for the night while your roomie’s having a romp between the sheets. He’s so nice that he’ll probably even grab brunch with you in the morning and attempt to make your roommate’s walk of shame even more hilariously awkward.

The computer whiz
This guy can do it all, from cleaning out your spyware to synchronizing your zip drive (or whatever it is that computers need fixed). He can run Macs and PCs and knows how LINUX works. Usually trilingual-fluent in English, some Asian language and binary-he will try not to laugh at you when you spend half an hour screaming at a word document but will politely point out that you are simply out of printer toner.

The local
This floormate knows all the great little Italian restaurants on the Hill, the best coffee places near campus and which of the five Thai restaurants on the Loop is the best. He can give you directions to the Central West End and suggest good places to club or to take a date. Best of all? He usually has a car.

The super-volunteer
Has anyone on your floor ever pan-handled? How about baked upwards of 500 brownies? Every year, Wash. U. students have hundreds of opportunities to volunteer. The most popular events are Dance Marathon and Relay for Life, and each team (floor) needs a captain. So find some young idealist who will ring a bell outside of Schnucks for sick kids and doesn’t mind learning a spirit dance.

The one with the fake
.uh, mustaches. You know, the Groucho Marx ones with the glasses and big noses? Yeah, those fakes. They make a great last-minute Bauhaus costume.

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