There is something that separates the two groups. It’s rarely spoken about aloud. The two groups seem to coexist peacefully most of the time. Who are these groups, you ask? They are those who get to check the privileged “In a relationship” box on their Facebook profiles and those who wish they could.
But why is there an underlying tension? What has spurred the great divide between couples and singles who want to be in a relationship? In the beginning, we were all single, but have some of us forgotten that important fact?
There are the nights when a single girl calls up her friends to attend a crush’s birthday party to which she just received a last-minute invitation. One friend inevitably answers, “I’m sorry, hon’. I’m just a little too tired tonight to go out.” The single girl of course tells her that it’s fine, but the voice in her head is screaming “Don’t you remember what it’s like to be single? It’s essential that I am surrounded by good supportive friends so I can play hard-to-get at his party.” But the friend, a member of the couple world for months, has apparently already forgotten.
Though people of all romantic statuses are friends, there’s an unspoken idea that those of the same status understand your problems just a little bit better. Silently, the line is drawn and people form battalions. Singles versus couples: the unspoken war continues. But why the fighting feelings?
The Battle of Bad Consolation. We all know what it feels like to be single. Why does someone in a couple suddenly think that telling their single friend everything will work out and that the right person will come along someday is going to make them feel better if it made them want to scream when they were single?
Sophomore Nick Loyal, who’s now in a relationship, said that he would tell a single friend that “he should get out there. It’s important to be outgoing, open and flirty.”
I think many single people spend every weekend night doing just that, but the perfect person isn’t just falling from the sky and landing on the beer pong table.
The Battle of Blatant PDA. A single person may have just finished having one of those “I’m going to die alone” thoughts and then they turn around in Mallinckrodt noticing two people who have their chairs pushed together so they can cuddle and sneak in a few kisses between bites of lunch.
Alumna Lesli Harad (’05) said, “It makes me feel like I want to throw up. It’s like someone rubbing it in your face.”
Why do the rules change for PDA the second a person switches sides? They come off looking like a traitor to the troops of singles.
The Battle of Forgotten Life. Why does entering a relationship result in amnesia of your past life as a single person? Nick Loyal said that he would tell a friend who was envious of his happy relationship that, “they should try and find someone.” A nice thought, though not exactly practical.
Senior Kristi Gu believes that people who have been with someone for awhile suffer from memory loss of the single life.
“They forget what it’s like having to do things by themselves. And what it’s like not always having people to call or having someone to rely on as a date,” she said.
It’s time to find a cure for this offensive illness. As in any war, there must be a treaty to end fighting. What should appear in the treaty that brings peace to these two romantic fronts?
There must be tolerance, understanding and awareness practiced by both sides. If you are single, don’t hold a grudge against a friend who spends the night with their significant other rather than you. They have someone they care for and you should be happy for them. If you are attached, don’t rub your relationship in a single person’s face. You were single once; you should remember how it feels.
We all have to compromise to coexist happily. It’s time to remove the bitterness from the singles and the smugness from the couples. It’s time for the troops to rest. It’s time for the treaty to bridge the great divide and bring peace to the world of romance.