First things first: All of my political knowledge comes from only a few, disparate sources, and none of them are the classroom.
(a) The Hall Of First Ladies’ Fashions in the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History. (Betty Ford, lay off the booze, honey!)
(b) The two episodes of “Sex and the City” where Carrie, done up in smart suits and pinned flowers, channeled Jackie O. whilst she dated a low-level New York City official.
(c) Madonna/Esther’s endorsement of Wesley Clark simply because his daughter studies Kabbalah along with half of Hollywood.
I have come to see that without popular culture, I simply could not be the proud American I am today. I registered to vote because P. Diddy rudely interrupted my viewing of “Real World: Philadelphia” to tell me that this is my motherf**king country, too. Here’s a deal my politically passionate friend: I’ll vote, you die. E!’s coverage of the conventions allowed me to keep abreast of the issues I face as a young person in the twenty-first century and simultaneously let me judge for myself whether Bennifer Part II (Ben Affleck + Jennifer Garner) was upon us. Vogue’s summer spread of the Bush twins helped me to get to know the spawn of my commander-in-chief, as well as their preferred evening and day looks. I don’t know about you, but I say screw the pesky issues and vote for the family that best sports couture.
You see, it’s not what someone stands for that seems to matter anymore. It’s how they play to the audience. VH1 isn’t concerned with whether I know the status of the war in Iraq (the VJs probably couldn’t find the country on a map); it wants me to know all about the “Fabulous Lives” of Kerry and Bush. Who edges out whom in the battle of bling? Bush with Air Force One and a sprawling Texan ranch, or Kerry, who’s “livin’ large” off of his wife’s bank account. (By the way Teresa, can we discuss the misguided foray into green and purple ketchups?)
The truth is, I’m not apathetic. I’m not even uninformed. I am just a library of information that large segments of the media choose to present. I knew Bill Clinton was “cool” because he actually addressed marijuana in an MTV special and he played the sax on “Arsenio Hall” back in the day. That’s even before you consider the fact that he is close and personal with Barbra Streisand (well, I think that’s cool, anyway). Isn’t that everything I needed to know? Did it matter what his stance on health care was?
Well, perhaps. But for today, and for this election cycle, I am going with what In Touch magazine tells me. The pictures are brighter, the commentary is snappier and the unreality of it all is much more appealing. And if I get around to it, I suppose I will cancel my full day of spa treatments on Nov. 2. But then, I was only looking into Botox because Kerry told me to.