Monica O’Malley:
The time has come to hit the books, hopefully hit the hay, and maybe even to hit it. And yes, I mean “hit it” in that oh-so-cool subtle rapper way. I’m smooth like that.
But whether you are looking for a little lovin,’ or even actual love, the search is far from simple. But it does get easier with each year of college. No, wait, it doesn’t. Sorry.
Why such a pessimistic attitude? Because it’s the truth. But don’t worry. The optimism returns. I am here to offer my small piece of wisdom to you: stop looking for love…or whatever it is that you’d like.
Whether you’re a guy or a girl, the following fact holds true. If you want to pick someone up, don’t live your life wanting to pick someone up.
Men and women alike can smell neediness and desperation, even in the smallest degree. For women it’s a kind of sixth sense, right up there with the ability to know when a cute baby or cute shoes walk into a room.
For men, well…I never presumed to understand men. But they can smell it, too. That I know.
But please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not suggesting playing hard to get. I don’t suggest you should never make the first move.
If you like someone you should go talk to them. Hell, just smile at them!
But don’t depend on them to make your life everything you want it to be. You must first find a certain sense of happiness and resolution in your single-ness before you try to find it in couple-dom.
You want someone to drool at the thought of being with you? Then make sure you think yourself drool worthy. Only then can you live your life without looking for love like a sailor looks for icebergs, with constant vigilance.
Joshua Trein:
Now that school has begun, both love and the West Nile virus are in the air, and it is time for Joshua to do what he does best: provide advice of questionable merit for a problem he wasn’t asked to solve.
You’re no doubt thinking-what does one have to do to get a date around here? To be quite honest, I have no idea. To give you some idea of how off my perception of dating is, I fully expected to have some luck with the ladies in the organic chemistry course I took over the summer.
If you can’t stumble onto love in a semi-advanced science course, I lamented, where can you find it?
And then it hit me (not as hard as the young woman in my orgo class after I made an unfortunately misunderstood remark about multi-step syntheses, but hard nonetheless): there’s a damn good reason many go dateless here, myself included.
We don’t talk to anyone.
For all the complaining I did my sophomore year about being single, I never once took the initiative to do the unthinkable and *gasp* talk to a young woman. I let my excuses overtake my resolve at every possible turn.
Is this what I want out of my 20s? Wishing I had more self-confidence with which to meet lovers? Talking to a stranger is no doubt difficult, but over-intellectualizing it belies a simple truth: there is no such thing as self-confidence when it comes to dating!
Those who have successfully convinced themselves that meeting new people isn’t scary are merely experts at self-deception. After all, what is a racing heart or a shaky hand but a direct indication that every time we begin to fall in love we have no idea what the hell we’re doing? I don’t have many answers, but I know that I have a much better chance of finding someone when I’m an active part of life than when I’m alone, wondering where the world went. So, to all the young women in my Eukaryotic Genomes lecture, consider this fair warning. See you all next week.