On the show “Californication” this week on Showtime, one of the female characters remarked that making a woman orgasm is about as complicated as wiring a bomb, but making a man orgasm is simple (something along the lines of “grunting” for four minutes before exploding into climax).
This is the stereotype: while a man can get off quickly (so to speak) with straightforward rubbing of the shaft and head of the penis, a woman takes time, effort, and concentration. The idea of the “g-spot” is almost thought of as a mythical, magical area that can never be found. Some even think women cannot orgasm except from clitoral stimulation, addressing a part of the vagina that is not directly pleasured during conventional vaginal intercourse.
One thing that actress Rachel Miner (playing Dani) remarked on the show is that the female orgasm is, in some senses, a mental process. She goes on to say, “Who has time for that?” Well, all women do, once they get the hang of their body.
A survey conducted by Glenn Wilson, writer of The Great Sex Divide, in 1998 says that 40% of women have difficulty achieving orgasm. However, the truth about these difficulties is that it is never simply sex. It is caused by a lack of interest in sex, mental anxiety or pain during intercourse (which could be caused by a lack of lubrication).
For a woman to experience an orgasm, she must know her own body. The g-spot is not a myth: it lies almost immediately behind the pubic bone on the clitoris side of the vagina, usually three to five inches up.
The feel of the g-spot is entirely different from that of the conventional clitoral stimulation. One does not feel sexual pleasure immediately, but almost the feeling of urination, something achieved by what are known as the PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. However, if one continues to rub the g-spot, sexual pleasure is found, and is usually greater in bodily depth than that of clitoral enjoyment.
Here, I advocate masturbation. If a woman practices finding her pleasure points and favorite ways of stimulation through the g-spot, clitoris, and even labial flaps, she will have no difficulty achieving an orgasm. It will become a natural thing, something she is comfortable with. Even in a male scenario, finding what arouses your mind and body sexually as well as how your body responds to human stimulation makes an orgasm as simple as dropping a bomb, rather than wiring one.
Helpful Links:
WebMD: Taking on “The Big O” for women
Female orgasm info