Dan DaranciangTo the reader: This article originally appeared in Student Life’s annual April Fools’ issue. Please don’t take anything in it as fact. We made it all up.
You know, it’s really a shame that Student Union is underappreciated on campus. SU does so much for the student body: its members work tirelessly for your benefit, scramble to find out what you think on the most minute of matters, and stand up against the administration when warranted.
As an example, Senate meetings often run over three hours because a couple Senators have taken it upon themselves to see that the proper parliamentary procedures are always followed. That’s a thankless job, but who else would protect the fundamental principles of self-government?
[Editor’s Note: The remainder of Roman’s ramblings have been cut for your benefit.]