Being unique is cool. But here it sucks. It really does.
Ever since the Big Gay Picnic, there has been a continuation of debate regarding the intolerance towards different sexual groups. This discussion should have taken place a couple of decades ago, but I’m still glad that it’s at least happening. There also has been a discussion about racism and segregation among the ethnic groups on campus, which I also think should have happened a while ago. I’d like to offer a more general and inclusive opinion about intolerance and insensitivity based on personal experience.
I’m an Asian, 20-year-old male-5’7″ and 120 lbs. with brown eyes, black hair, and tan skin. These are the facts that will be appreciated if I am on the run as a criminal or if I got in an accident and I didn’t have my wallet with me. But are these the facts about me that contribute to the diversity at WU?
Once in a psychology class here, the professor asked what or whom we associate ourselves with. When I answered that I’m an Asian but I associate myself the most with the Latin Americans, my professor and the classmates were laughing. I laughed along in frustration because I didn’t know how else I could react. I admire the passion Latin Americans have towards life in general. I love their food and I love their music. Jazz is my favorite genre, and therefore I give a great respect for the origin of one of the most influential element in jazz. Although I wasn’t born in Latin America nor can speak Spanish fluently, I’ve loved everything I’ve learned and experienced about it until now. Borrowing a Buddhist idea, I believe I could have been a Cuban in my previous life. I’m pretty sure that there are people laughing at my statement right now.
Now, would you laugh at a Chinese descendent who claims to be a Californian? How about a half-German, half-Irish who claims to be an Argentine? Even if they didn’t grow up there or have not yet moved, being an official citizen is only a matter of paperwork. Gone are the days when your birthplace and the ethnicity of your parents defined who you are. You are what you identify with. The unique identity you create gives you diversity-more than the things you were born with. There’s very little you can predict from someone’s nationality and appearance these days, but people still try to do so. The same goes with sexuality.
I have long hair. And I don’t have a stubbly face like most of the guys with long hair. People sometimes mistake me for a woman. Whenever I want to get food on campus, I have to expect to be called “ma’am” or “lady” by the servers. Why only on campus? Because that’s where it all happens. Most restaurant workers tend to avoid gender-specific appellation such as sir or ma’am.
People think I’m gay simply because I “look” feminine, or “pretty.” It tells me how little knowledge students here have about gays. Forget the image of gays you saw on the television shows and movies. There are plenty of gays who are not feminine. In fact, by definition gays are attracted to guys, not to the guys who think they’re women.
It’s hard not to notice the suspicious looks and the distance kept by some people who think that I might be gay. Before we even go in to the topic of homophobia, let’s establish that no one likes to be viewed as something one’s not. Sometimes it’s easier on my nerves to just shut up, let others mistake me for a girl and pass by because I hate the looks on their faces when they discover that I’m a guy and start wondering if I’m gay. Although I’m neither a gay nor transgender, I’ve come to realize the cruelty of the silent criticism they must endure. How will they ever come out when difference is not appreciated but feared?
I can go on about the prejudices and intolerances people here have, but let me just tell you this: so far it’s been a pretty cold and dry place to live. A scary one, too