Since there seems to be no rhyme or reason for the surprising atrocities left by the underpass in pyramid and sphere form, we have compiled a list of uses for these structures – or at least possible explanations for their existence. There really are no right or wrong answers. Who knows what the hell they were thinking?
1. The shapes could be turned into an adult-sized jungle gym complete with monkey bars and a tire swing.
2. We could use running water and a still pool to accentuate the fountain…er, shapes.
3. We could hold American Gladiator-like events on top of the shapes.
4. Boring mascot? I think not, Emory. Here comes the biggest Jack in the Box mascot ever.
5. Geometry class for Wydown Middle School could be held there.
6. It could always be a graffiti wall.
7. It could be part of the largest Playstation controller ever.
8. Perhaps it serves as a tribute to “Hollywood Squares,” given a little miscommunication.
9. They’re great hiding places for Chancellor Wrighton and David Ader’s escape vehicles if/when Emory attacks.
10. At least they serve as proof that there are worse ways to spend money than plasma TVs in the library.
11. It looks like that guy from Jack in the Box lost his nose. (Similar to No. 4, but not quite the same.)
12. If you lie on the sidewalk, it looks like a spilled ice cream cone.
13. It could be our very own rolling ball of death, should the sphere come loose.
14. We want to know: where’s the cube? Cube discrimination!
15. The shapes look like a new and interesting place to have sex on campus.
16. At least the shapes are clearly a gathering place for all the intellectual discussions that arise naturally among such an academically focused student body. Just ignore the penis-vandalism and we’re set.
17. It could be an advertising wall, like the underpass. (Actually, this is what it appears to have become, anyway.)
18. The shapes would make a great party location. Bauhaus 2006, anyone?