In a twist on Shakespeare, Joseph Heller wrote in his novel Catch-22 that “[s]ome men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.” I bring this up because it shatters the illusion of profound entitlement that Americans in general and Wash. U. students in particular carry with them at all times. People are people; we are all the same. Emory tried to help us understand that, but Wash. U. is often its own worst enemy.
Emory’s declaration of “war” created what could be called a tempest in a teapot. Student Union president David Ader was quick to characterize Emory’s actions as childish and declare Wash. U. above such inane actions. Ader even submitted a retaliatory op-ed about what those malicious vandals scrawled upon our underpass, entitled “Take high road in Emory ‘war.'” Ader termed Emory’s actions “both demeaning and classless” and postulated that Emory lets show “a hint of envy” towards Wash. U. One can almost feel the delightful glee with which Ader took to his keyboard, eager to pound out the kind of passive-aggressive press release that no doubt awaits his future political endeavors.
Not to single out Ader, but as the president of SU his comments are taken as representative of at least a portion of his constituency, and it is high time that SU (and most of Wash. U.) was called what it is: a bastion for those who still hold onto the misguided notion that filling out their graduate school applications with as many clubs and trite honors as they had on their college apps will in some way help them avoid the crushing disappointment that is a modern life. As in, “What do you mean you won’t hire me? I was the secretary of my sorority’s annual charity slam-bam-good times-ball for children with no legs!”
While the rest of us try to get our bachelor degree(s) in peace, SU rears its ugly head to remind us what groundbreaking, important work they do as gatekeepers of our student activities fee. This is a larger problem than I can pin on Ader and the current crop of useless student executives, but I still feel I should be reimbursed about $200 of my activity fee, just so I won’t feel anger at all the student group signs I read that say “Come to our [worthless activity]. Free [ethnic] food!”
SU has a $1.75 million dollar budget that mostly gets spent on speakers that fail to make cogent points to audiences of what are purported to be the cream of American undergraduate education, the most recent college-fad comedians that are as angry to be here as we are to see them drunkenly slosh through another lackluster performance, and “underground” bands that are soon to be as ignorable as they were before they were trolled out for the sake of the musical elitists that man most of the airtime at KWUR. We’re taking the “moral high road” when we ignore the attempts of some obviously committed individuals to create school spirit out this cultural vacuum? At least Emory felt a compulsion to try and be clever and not waste our money while doing so.
The fake war with Emory highlights the fact that our students have no school spirit, never have had any, and very likely never will. Every day students send a dual message: “We just don’t care about the rest of the world” and “Hopefully, one day my money will buy me happiness along with these Juicy Couture sweatpants.”
Please remember that we are the school that kicked Taco Bell out over poor treatment of its tomato pickers, but failed to rally behind the workers on campus when, for example, Bear’s Den is closed a grand total of 44.5 hours a week. See something wrong with that? I would worry about being proven wrong, but I would have to attend another college first.
Joshua is a senior in Arts & Sciences.