MCT DirectJennifer Lopez
Como Ama Una Mujer
Rating: 0.5/5
Tracks to download: “Adios,” “Que Hiciste?”
For fans of: Poorly spoken Spanish, Ben Affleck
Jennifer Lopez has, at this point, become most famous for being famous, despite (or perhaps because of) trying to sell us every possible kind of marketable product. She has released a new CD entitled “Como Ama Una Mujer,” (“How a Woman Loves”) which is more product than it is anything else.
Instead of creating an album of hip-hoppy bubblegum like many of her previous efforts, or pairing up with rap artists to create enjoyable if not great singles, Lopez has compiled eleven boring ballads with barely any beat. There a few songs that seem as if at any moment they could get started by breaking into an enjoyable rhythm-“Porque Te Marchas” (the Spanish version of “[Can’t Believe] This Is Me”), and “¨Que Hiciste?” (“What Did You Do?”), the single, are two-but none manage to go anywhere. “Adios” (be serious, you know what adios means), the final song, is recorded with a live audience and is perhaps the album’s best, but it’s the excitement of the audience that does this, and they could have done it with or without J. Lo.
The album does pose a few important questions: how, as the title suggests, does a woman love? And out of all our wise popular culture personalities, is J. Lo, with her pristine dating record, the one to tell us? What, as the single queries, did you do? But the main question the album begs: just why is she so famous? She seems to have little talent and that’s generously given. The album was put together by a bevy of producers and arrangers, and without her husband’s generous back-up vocals, Lopez might actually have to display some singing ability, since she doesn’t seem to be involved with much else. When she is singing alone, her voice is heavily electronically enhanced, especially in the synthesized “T£” (“You”), where her vocals sound like nothing that could possibly emanate from any human mouth.
The lyrics are, unfortunately, entirely in Spanish; that ‘unfortunately,’ unfortunately, has nothing to do with English speakers missing the beauty and introspection of the words. Most of them translate roughly into soap opera drivel (“Yesterday we promised to conquer the whole world / Yesterday you promised me this love would be eternal.You forgot love was what’s important”), and on the rare occasions they don’t sound as if they’ve come straight from a telenovela, they’re dull.
But the most unfortunate thing about the Spanish language choice is Lopez’s lackluster pronunciation, which, while not bad, is far from her husband’s or any native speaker’s. It sounds deadeningly rehearsed and the lilt of the language manages not to shine through in her American mouth.
In the end, “Como Ama Una Mujer” is nothing more than a bland attempt at something else for us to buy. The most impressive thing Lopez manages is her photo on the front cover, and that takes no talent, just good genes. Which.I think Lopez has a new line of coming out this fall.