www.abc.net.auOh hubristic Homo sapiens. On Valentine’s Day, millions of chauvinistic humanists gather together to celebrate what they believe makes them special – this is a thing called love.
But what about the animal kingdom? What do they think of this pageantry, this rather absurd holiday that pretends that humans are somehow above merely reproductive functions?
Cadenza spoke to Kevin Koenig, a naturalist who has been working at the St. Louis Zoo for close to 20 years, to get a better idea about animal love, or really, animal mating.
Cadenza: Do the animals do anything related to love [making] that surprises some of the zoo’s visitors?
Kevin: One of the things that grosses people out is when they see, in many mammals, the female urinating. The urine contains hormones and the male will put his tongue out and swish it around in his mouth like it’s a wine tasting. The males perform what is called a flehmen response, where they curl heir lips up so as to better test the urine [to determine chiefly if the animal is in heat]. To humans it sounds like a really perverted thing to do, but in the animal world it’s a way of communicating: “I’m healthy, I’m ready to reproduce.”…Otherwise, there’s the baboons. Their butts swell. It’s like a baboon saying “I’m ready.”
C: How can humans, this Valentine’s Day, reflect on the mating practices of their animal brethren?
K: In New Guinea, male bowerbirds make bowers, or nests, that are these complex structures [including shells, leaves, flowers, stones, or berries] they weave with their beaks. Then the males will find these shiny objects and put them into the bower. The females then choose the male based on who can demonstrate being a good builder and a good scavenger. I’ve determined after all this that humans do much of the same thing.. How many guys on campus get girls because they have nice cars or nice clothing?
C: Too many, unfortunately. But what about this question of love? Do animals love?
K: We don’t know. Unless we want to anthropomorphize them, we just can’t know.
C: What about dating?
K: We sent two of our female elephants to the Springfield Zoo to mate with their bull elephant, Onyx. They were transported in a tractor trailer, sort of like a party bus. It was like a date, only they were over there for more than just one day.
C: And the Walrus penis?
K: Some of the penis bones of walrus’ used to be used by humans to club baby seals. They would club the seals and skin them.
C: Happy Valentine’s Day!