DJ: A’ight, a’ight, we’re back with .22 Weav, college journalism’s hot-shot sensation, talkin’ ’bout some of the crunkest column-busting you’re gonna see, “The Flipside of Pop Culture.”
Tyler: Yeah, that’s right. I wanna give a what’s up to my boys in the Film Department, Jeff Smith, B.P., Dick Chaps, that lady secretary, yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about. What up.
DJ: Hear that, root-respecting. So .22, I wanna talk about this column you dropped last week-
Tyler: Yeah, yeah.
DJ: -we got some real hate being spread around here, talkin’ ’bout Mark McGwire … Hootie … the King of Pop, Michael Jackson! It’s looking like you’re not afraid to roll beef with some real heavy-hitters.
Tyler: Well, y’know, man, I just speak it how I speak it, I gotta say what I see.
DJ: Can’t argue with that, but are you getting at all concerned that there may be some sort of verbal retaliation from … well, as you’re saying, “Hootie, Big Mac, King of Pop.”
Tyler: Man, they can all bring that on. What you gonna say? “Oh, Double-Double can’t hit 70, .22 can’t sing about no damn Tendercrisp sandwich.” Shit. Mark McGwire wants to bring on the future, I’ll bust out the past on his ass-injecting ass.
DJ: You’re not worried at all about alienating fans?
Tyler: Man, what am I gonna do, start playing to a bunch of low-rent bastards? Givin’ a damn about, what, Burger King? Forget that. I’m gonna drop science so long as things stay scientific. I got my people back here, this my point-man, Matt Simon’-
Matt: What up.
DJ: Cadenza editor, Matt Simonton-
Tyler: We got my girl, straight-up, Li’l Vilines-
Laura: Yeah!
Tyler: Yeah, I think we got Ryan Adams back there … man, we gotta lotta people up in here. We hittin’ the club later.
John Mayer: Hit the club!
Tyler: Haha, yeah, man. Pass me that PBR.
DJ: .22, we actually just got a call … well, I can see Matt’s cell phone is ringing.
Matt (to phone): Yo, Simon. Yeah … yeah, yeah…
Tyler: Y’know, I wanna drop hellos to my main feline, Stewie the neighborhood pimp-cat … my roommates be feedin’ him and shit while I’m here, you know, takin’ care of my boy.
DJ: We got a call-
Matt: Hey, y’all, man, we gotta roll.
Tyler: Wha?
DJ: We, uh, well, it seems that there actually … Jeff Tweedy, out of Wilco, is actually on our cross-town station right now, saying some things about you that apparently aren’t very complimentary.
Tyler: Aw, man, now this is some bullshit.
Matt: Man, he is calling you out!
Tyler: We gotta get the hell outta here. Li’l V, get me my shit!
DJ: Are you planning on confronting Jeff Tweedy?
Tyler: Man, I’m gonna confront f’real, moth’fucker. (to Laura) Yeah, thanks. (to DJ) Yeah, you see this? This is what I’m meaning, you can’t be all goin’ out, sayin’ things, sayin’ nonsense and think I ain’t gonna hear. Tweedy’s ’bout to hear about the meaning of .22.
DJ: Well, we-
Tyler: Yo, Adams, get me a cab, man! Cincinnati!
DJ: Well … well, that was .22 Weav, um, and, uh, we’re hoping this sort of thing doesn’t escalate. We don’t need any more victims in this game. Absolutely. Here’s 50 Cent, with “Gunz Come Out.”