Margaret BauerRegardless of whether or not he intended to, William Friedkin scared the pants off of small children and hardened criminals alike with his seminal 1973 film, “The Exorcist.” Because of its great success, audiences will forever view Linda Blair as the possessed Reagan MacNeil. The images of that angelic child urinating on the carpet in front of a dinner party, masturbating with a crucifix and vomiting pea soup still induce a queasy feeling in even the strongest of stomachs. A few weeks ago Blair came into town in order to promote a local Halloween event. Cadenza-actually, I-na‹vely jumped at the chance for an interview with the former pea soup puker, and thus the adventure began.
Upon my entry to the hotel, The Grinner and Hair Flip-the promotions people with perfectly-styled hair and firm handshakes-greeted me. The Grinner led me back to the location of the interview, a bland cafeteria with a muzak version of Bonnie Tyler’s “I Need a Hero” playing in the background. To my surprise, The Grinner informed me that only three other journalists would be joining me. Because of her name, I had assumed more people would drool over the chance to meet Linda. Two more reporters-Becky, a homely older woman with square-shaped glasses covering half her face, and Spencer, a young man-arrived soon after. With the onset of the instrumental “Up Where We Belong,” The Grinner escorted in the last reporter, while Hair Flip stopped at the coffee station with Ms. Blair.
With Linda out of earshot, The Grinner then gave us a wink and a smile as he nonchalantly told us that Linda was not here to talk about her acting career, and that we should keep “Exorcist” questions to a minimum. I then discovered the interview was not about Blair’s chilling experience with demonic possession; Blair wished to talk about her children, those being her three pit bulls.
The slim and trim Blair approached the table and kindly shook everyone’s hand. Blair then began the interview with her eyes closed and hands crossed. At times Blair pounded her freshly manicured nails on the table for emphasis-a slight yellow color on her nails indicated that Blair was or at one time was a smoker. She also carried with her a bag with a cutesy image of her beloved pit bull.
Her rant began:
“I’ve lived in New York since I was about five years old, doing modeling and commercials. My mother was very career-minded and felt that it was an opportunity for me to have a career, have opportunities, and that was very kind of her to do for me. But I wanted to be a veterinarian. So by the time I was 13, I said to her, ‘I’ve had enough of doing modeling and commercials. I want to settle down and do school.’
“That was when ‘The Exorcist’ came along. It was a generic movie interview. I went in, I read for it, didn’t think I’d ever hear from them again. Of course the rest is history, and 30 years later they’re still talking about it because it was such a remarkable group of people that put the project together. I worked in television and film for many, many years. I still do-a little. My main childhood dream has never ended.
“In the ’80s, I started really working with animal rights, because my dog was stolen from my backyard in Los Angeles, and it changed my life forever. That was my baby, my fun-I chose not to have children. I’m a caretaker. I’m an Aquarius, so I want to figure out how to fix things, so I have done the best that I can. But I realize I can’t do it alone, and a country can do better.
“So I chose to go nonprofit last year. It took me a year to get my nonprofit status. This is my baby-my new beginning. And I wrote this book, ‘Going Vegan’ because I became a vegetarian in 1988 when I read how we process animals, food, pesticide runoff, the environment, the effects, the future of the planet. Again, I don’t have kids, so the work I do is really, it’s volunteer and, in my opinion, non-selfish. I’m trying to make a difference while I’m here, and I wish other people would too.”
(The other reporters held their recording devices firmly and paid close attention. At times Becky even threw in a “Yes, I saw that during my research” or a “Mmm, I understand.”)
When FINALLY asked about “The Exorcist,” Blair calmly (yet undeniably resentfully) answered with an explanation that “talking about ‘The Exorcist’ is unimportant and boring and silly.” She’s studied spirituality and meditation. She’s watched technology grow. It was supposed to get easier, but instead it’s gotten harder. She wants euthanasia to end. She wants to stop breeding animals, stop the pet overpopulation and that’s when we can get back to a good place.
Becky then asked her first typed question about Blair’s hobbies and interests. (I haughtily smirked at such an asinine question as I erased it from the scribbled mess of my own “original” questions)
Blair laughed: “You mean my leftover time!? I’m not a great cook. I do garden. I used to train horses. I have my retired horse in the backyard. I’ve turned to painting lately.”
Spencer then asked her what goals she had for the future.
Blair looked at Spencer and began, “I would like to really, really in my lifetime work to reduce the pet overpopulation, because I’m not going to stop. How? [Ah, the effectiveness of the rhetorical question.] Educate the people. My second goal is to completely eradicate dog fighting in this country. England did it, and I’m trying to learn more about how they did it. [Spencer then identified with her, saying that his father was from England.] They’re not allowed to breed aggressive dogs. People get scared of pit bulls and big dogs, and most of them are 3-year-old babies.”
When again prodded about “The Exorcist,” Blair explained that she was 13 when the film was made. And she had obtained the part two weeks after she had wanted to retire. “If the interview would have been a month later, it wouldn’t have been me,” Blair commented. She had no idea the film would be what it was, and she claimed that William Friedkin’s original script was not what the final cut of the film turned out to be. Blair concluded her reflections on “The Exorcist” by saying, “When I walked away from the film, I never wanted to talk about it again.”
Blair then moved back to her original purpose in attending this interview by quoting from the back of her book, “Break the Chains that Bind.” The quote read, “If ‘The Exorcist’ scared you, try imagining the fear of an animal being dragged to the slaughterhouse.” Becky, Spencer and the other reporter bowed their heads in reflection.
Then Linda looked to me for the final question of the interview. Jaded and full of disdain from the entire experience, I asked, “You mentioned that when you walked off the set of ‘The Exorcist’ that you ‘never wanted to talk about it again’ or deal with it again. Would you say that your role in ‘Repossessed’ was a way of reconciling your bad feelings with your horrible experience?” Blair smiled forcedly and said, “Working on the film was a delight, especially having the chance to work with Leslie Nielsen and be a part of his humor.”
At the conclusion of the interview, the other reporter thanked Blair by saying her words today had been really inspiring; the reporter then asked for a personal photograph. Becky and Spencer quickly followed. After the reporters had taken their tenth freeze frame with Blair, she turned to me with her arm extended. With my camera packed away in my bag long before the others, I simply shook her hand and passed on the photo op. Blair smiled back, saying, “I know you’ll go far.” I smiled back at her and momentarily noted the actual well-meaning worth of Blair’s work with animals. I then walked out of the pastel-painted cafeteria now playing the muzak version of Bette Midler’s “You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings” and soared out of the building, thankful for being a meat-eater. Damn it feels good to be a hard-ass.
Post-script: Besides Blair and the muzak, the names and locations mentioned in this article have remained anonymous as a compensation for the poor journalism exhibited. The self-reflexive nature of the narrative and the sarcastic drool were merely intended for entertainment purposes.