HILARY SMITHOver the next several months, Cadenza will be highlighting some of St. Louis’ most interesting and unique neighborhoods, hopefully encouraging students to venture past Clayton and the Loop to discover all of the urban adventures that St. Louis has to offer. Here is our first glimpse at one of the city’s lesser known neighborhoods, the cultural melting pot better known as South Grand.
There comes a time when the South 40 feels like your grandma’s house (i.e. there hasn’t been anything to do there since you were six), campus events are few and far between, and even the Loop no longer offers any surprises. At this point, you have a few options. You can sit in the dorm room to watch your pirated copy of “Kill Bill, Vol. 1” for the 20th time (too bad about that Direct Connect crackdown-no more free movies), or you can get out of the house and discover what the rest of St. Louis has to offer. One of the first stops on your STL field trip should be the bustling South Grand area, which lies on-you guessed it-South Grand Boulevard, roughly between Arsenal and Gravois. This eclectic little borough, made up of one to two-story brick buildings nestled closely together, features a great variety of international restaurants and quirky independently owned businesses. Now that the weather’s nice, pick a sunny afternoon with nothing else to do and scoot on down to South Grand.
Your base of operations for any excursion to South Grand should be the South City Diner (3139 S. Grand). Although miraculously clean compared to some of the other greasy spoons in town, the Diner nonetheless possesses its own charm and character. The walls are adorned with all sorts of 50s dcor, including Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry albums and Marilyn Monroe prints, and the jukebox plays only the best 50s and 60s pop hits. In other words, it’s the best possible version of Johnny Rockets. But the true test of a diner is its food, and the City Diner is unbeatable in this department. Either take it easy and sip on a cup of java, or assault your stomach lining with a one-two punch of cheeseburger and chili, then calm things down with a cool, frothy milkshake. The people-watching factor is tremendous as well, with everyone from truck drivers to horn-rimmed hipsters to high school prom dates converging on the Diner for coffee and conversation.
If the diner scene just isn’t your bag, just take a quick stroll down the block to Mangia Italiano (3145 S. Grand), a good Italian restaurant with an affordable menu. Let your mouth savor the lasagna while your eyes soak in the wall murals by Cardinals’ announcer Wayne St. Wayne and your ears delight in one of the various jazz and reggae bands that regularly play there. But, if you’re looking for more diverse international flavor, search just about any street corner and you’re bound to find a Thai, Vietnamese, or Chinese restaurant. Pho Grand (3195 S. Grand) in particular offers platefuls of noodles at incredibly cheap prices.
Once you’ve sufficiently filled your gullet, hit the streets to check out some of the interesting stores on South Grand. The Vintage Haberdashery (3143 S. Grand) is like the costume section of Rag-O-Rama, but with actual period clothes instead of plastic imitations. Indulge your costume fantasies and dress up as anything from June Cleaver (late 50s sundresses with giant glasses and headscarves are key) to a stone cold pimp with a feather-topped fedora. The Haberdashery (what a fantastic word) also has a good, but limited selection of thrift clothing, including leather jackets and the ever-popular cowboy shirt. Also, be on the lookout for the single Rush poster in the back near the dressing rooms. Because nothing says “costume shop” like a 70s progressive rock band who draws on Ayn Rand for inspiration.
Continuing up the block, you’ll pass a barren-looking, inset building conspicuously emblazoned with the name “CBGB.” Is it kosher to name your club after the most famous punk venue of all time? At 3:00 in the afternoon, the place was far from hoppin’, but judging from its “best bartender” nomination in the RFT, it could be good place to return to at night. Similarly low-key at that time of day was the South Grand Coffee Company (3183 S. Grand), a cyber caf featuring pool tables, live folk music, and chess club tournaments every Tuesday at 7:00 P.M. So if you’ve ever wanted to watch chess nerds play while wired on caffeine, this is the place to do so.
But you didn’t come to South Grand simply for coffee and amusements; you want to shop. Look no further than Isn’t It Grand!, a junk heap masquerading as a quaint curio shop. The windows are lined with hundreds of figurines, with “Wizard of Oz” statuettes sharing shelf space with cheap Egyptian street trinkets. Inside, it’s a complete jungle, but if you’ve ever wanted a store that offered Pezz dispensers, Casio keyboards, astronaut Cabbage Patch Kids, and wheelchairs all on the same aisle, you’ve found your paradise. Nowhere else in St. Louis can you walk out with cardboard cutouts of both George W. Bush and Damon Wayans as “Major Payne.” No other place offers an Afro-centric shelf devoted to Nubian figurines next to a veritable treasure trove of smut, with stacked crates full of old back issues of “Penthouse” and “Hustler.” (If you’re lucky, you might run across the Latoya Jackson spread.) Yes, come to Isn’t It Grand! and you’re bound to find a jewel or two among the gargantuan heaps of crap.
If your shopping bag still isn’t full, the combination of On The Grid (3207 S. Grand) and Cheap TRX (3211 S. Grand) should provide you with a few more items, particularly if you’re searching for rave and/or general debauchery supplies. On The Grid will hook you up with all your dance club needs, from turntables to strobe lights to the latest non-stop techno record. Directly adjacent to On The Grid is Cheap TRX, which specializes in piercings, incense, candles, and “novelty items,” which roughly translates “everyday objects with phalluses stuck to them.” This includes greeting cards, light fixtures, and my personal favorite, the “excited to see you” teddy bear. After leaving Cheap TRX with a leather codpiece and a new nipple piercing, double back and pick up some international cuisine at Jay International Food Co. (3172 S. Grand), the largest of its kind in St. Louis.
Now stocked to the brim with food, clothing, and that ALF Pezz dispenser you always wanted, why not retreat back to nature for some quiet reflection on your day? Make the last stop on your journey the 289-acre Tower Grove Park (corner of S. Grand and Arsenal). Frolic among the numerous Victorian pavilions or retire to the cool shade of the crumbling Classical “ruins” which dot the landscape. All in all, a sublime ending to a truly eventful day of exploration in South Grand. Now, only 78 more neighborhoods to go.