Bernell DorroughWe all know that we are supposed to use condoms for vaginal or anal sex, but do we really need to use protection for oral sex? The answer is YES! Are there people out there who actually use a barrier for oral sex? YES! And YES, it really is a big deal. Unless, of course, getting gonorrhea in your throat or giving your partner genital herpes sounds appealing. I didn’t think so!
Using a barrier, such as a condom, dental dam, or non-microwavable plastic wrap can make giving or receiving a blow job or rim job (around the anus) much safer. If you feel safe when you are engaging in sexual activity, then you’ll be able to relax and enjoy yourself, without worrying about these potential consequences. Believe it or not, it is possible to perform sexy, satisfying oral sex with a barrier. It’s all about attitude and communication. If you are comfortable with using protection and making the experience fun and pleasurable, your partner will probably be willing to give it a try.
Keep in mind that for fellatio (oral contact with a penis), it is safest to use a condom. With all of the “activity” going on, plastic wrap could tear or slip off. Instead, put about a teaspoon of lubricant (non-oil based) into a non-lubricated condom. Since the condom is made of latex, moisture from your mouth can’t get in, but heat can, so adding the lube will make it feel more like your mouth and greatly improve your partner’s willingness to use protection again. There won’t be quite as much sensation with a condom, so play up the other senses. Dental dams or plastic wrap are better for cunnilingus or analingus. For these devices, the same tips hold true-using lube on the vagina or anus will improve sensation. Also, when you are done with any of these barriers, be sure to throw them away-they should not be reused. Above all, remember that good communication with your partner is the most important thing for a satisfying and safe experience.
My friend told me that when I get cold sores next to or on my lips, that I can give my partner genital herpes when I go down on him/her. Is this really true? How can a cold sore cause an STD?
Your friend is pretty smart. Unfortunately, it is true-as if having a cold sore wasn’t enough of a downer! Actually, having a cold sore is common and totally normal. In fact, it is estimated that 80% of American adults have the virus that causes cold sores (Herpes Simplex Virus 1), but not all of them will actually get cold sores. Most people get infected with HSV1 from casual contact, such as getting kissed on the face, by a relative with a cold sore. But there are actually two types of herpes viruses that we are talking about: HSV1, which generally causes “cold sores” or “fever blisters” on or near the lips, and HSV2, which generally causes sores on the genitals or in the groin region. The catch is that either type of herpes can infect either area. So when most people think of genital herpes, they don’t realize that the same virus that causes cold sores can also cause genital sores if it gets “down there”. How it gets “down there” depends. The most common way to get infected with HSV1 on your genitals is through oral sex with a partner who has a cold sore (sometimes you can get infected right before and right after they have a cold sore too-this is called viral shedding). If you have a cold sore on your mouth and you touch it, then don’t wash your hands, when you touch your vagina, penis or anus, you can give the virus to yourself (this is called autoinoculation). It is also possible for someone with a cold sore to pass it to their partner’s genitals, where it can then be passed back to their own genitals-then both partners have genital herpes.
Keep in mind that not everyone will experience an outbreak. Some people just carry the virus, some people will have just one outbreak, while others will experience outbreaks throughout their lives. The good news is that there are treatments (antiviral medications) that can help with outbreaks, as well as ways to help manage the symptoms. The flip side is that since herpes is a virus, there is no way to cure it. Once you’ve got it, you’re stuck with it. And condoms don’t provide total protection against genital herpes since the sores aren’t limited to the shaft of the penis or the inside of the vagina or anus-they can be anywhere in the groin region, front or back. So discussing your sexual history with future partners before getting involved sexually is going to be very important.
Questions?
Have you ever had a question about your body or your health that you felt weird asking a friend or someone older? Especially when it’s about sex? Maybe you were afraid they would judge you or make assumptions about you. Maybe you just aren’t comfortable talking about this stuff. Jill Ringold, who has her master’s degree in Public Health and is a certified health education specialist, is the health educator in the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness. And she’s here to help answer those questions that you really want to ask. If you want to submit a question about any health and wellness topic, please send it to news@studlife.com.