KRT CampusAttention, girls of Washington University! Tired of complaining that there are no attractive guys at this school? Looking to put a little spice in your Valentine’s Day? Then look no further! Here are the top 10 hottest male athletes in the world. That’s right, the world. But beware: some of these men will make you want to drop that lame Valentine’s date and travel around the world to become a face-painting, sign-holding woman of questionable morals. Before the countdown, let’s take a look at some of the runners-up that didn’t quite make the cut:
David Beckham: Soccer, Manchester United Soccer Club
While Beckham definitely makes the cut in the hottie department, there are a few factors that keep him from the top 10. At first glance, his ponytail might make a fan confuse him for Brandi Chastain. Also, he married a Spice Girl. While Posh Spice has made countdowns for her own beauty, I still think, “A Spice Girl? Really? Oh, all the other real singers must have been married already.”
Tom Brady: Football, New England Patriots
Tom Brady is a hottie in a skinny, white boy, box of Wheaties sort of way. However, he will never make a centerfold with just a football covering his happy place when there are others in the NFL that make him look like Bill Gates.
Alex Rodriguez: Baseball, New York Yankees
A-Rod is a hottie not only because he could buy all of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, but also because he’s got that cute, “Use Crest Whitestrips” smile. But while he is one of the best third basemen in baseball, he looks as if he spends more time staring at the mirror than Paris Hilton. A-Rod proves that it is possible for a guy to take longer than a supermodel to get ready.
But enough of the wannabes (no pun intended to David Beckham) – here are the hotties of 2006 that would make any girl cheat on her significant other if given the chance to be with one of these studs:
10. Gavin Henson: Rugby, Wales Rugby Union
This 23-year-old rugby superstar broke onto the scene two years ago as one of the best rugby players, leading his team to a Grand Slam in the Six Nations Championship. This fine-looking specimen has been featured in GQ and several other magazines, which has lead to rumors of homosexuality. Currently taken by singer Charlotte Church, this Welshman combines a hot accent with the body of Michelangelo’s David. If you have never seen his beautiful countenance, I suggest you stop reading and do a Google search for him immediately.
9. Jeremy Bloom: Freestyle skiing, United States Olympic Team
A gold medal favorite in Torino this month, Bloom is the obscure sport hottie of the countdown. Already selected as one of the Sexiest Men in Sports by Sports Illustrated for Women, Jeremy Bloom originally went to the University of Colorado on a football scholarship. After losing his eligibility for taking money to finance his ski training, he finished ninth in the 2002 Salt Lake Olympics in the men’s moguls. The only disappointment is that Jeremy must wear a helmet – but God bless the maker of his skin-tight uniform. I want to sing the praises of spandex.
8. Ian Thorpe: Swimming, Australian Olympic Team
While swimmers have some of the best bodies in sports, Ian Thorpe takes it to a whole new level. He is a jaw-dropper not only because of his five Olympic gold medals and 11 World Championship titles, but also because we get the pleasure of seeing him in a Speedo. Nicknamed the “Thorpedo,” this swimmer is an international success at only 23 years old and is a definite piece of pool perfection.
7. JJ Redick: NCAA Basketball, Duke University
With this selection, I will elate half of college basketball fans and enrage the other half. However, any woman who watches college basketball, or even those who don’t, will see that J.J. Reddick is a college basketball stud with a body to match. Filling out for his senior season, Redick gets the young hottie award on the countdown. With 28.3 points per game, he may not be the best all-around player in college basketball, but he is definitely pretty to look at.
6. Tiger Woods: Golf, PGA Tour
Ah, Tiger. This preppy PGA powerhouse is one of the best golfers of all time. He single-handedly changed golf from a rich, elderly, white man’s game into a sport for everyone. His passion on the links can only be topped by his cute little smile when he receives yet another trophy. Tiger, with his own Nike endorsement deal and a net worth that is more than the University’s endowment, would make any girl want to take a swing on the golf links.
5. Andy Roddick: Tennis, ATP
Andy Roddick is love, and that’s not just tennis lingo. The only thing more disappointing than rumors that Roddick and Maria Sharapova are dating is a bag of dead kittens for sale in an Asian market. Seriously, that’s about it. With 20 singles titles in his career, Roddick has accumulated over $9.5 million in prize money in just five short years. This tennis hottie serves it up at blazing speeds and is a heart-stopper with women worldwide.
4. Michael Owen: Soccer, Newcastle United Soccer Club
Owen’s nickname “Boy Wonder” comes from more than just his soccer skills. The European Footballer of the Year in 2001 is married to his primary school sweetheart, but his gorgeous face can be shared with all. Michael Owen is the inspiration for any woman to recreate the Nike Shox commercial featuring a streaker disrupting a soccer match. On and off the field, this soccer hottie is an incredible score.
3. Jason Taylor: Football, Miami Dolphins
This defensive end has earned three Pro Bowl selections and makes me jealous of every running back he tackles. New rule: no other man in Miami is allowed to be on the beach when Jason Taylor is sunbathing (guys, it’s for your own good anyway). Taylor would probably sell out a stadium of women watching him run sprints sans shirt. He brings to mind the immortal words of Will Smith: “Welcome to Miami.” He is even enough to make me cheer for the Dolphins.
2. Jose Theodore: Hockey, Montreal Canadiens
Unbeknownst to the fans, the true cause of the hockey lockout last season was the lack of attractive men with a full set of teeth. Jose Theodore and his pearly whites compensate for the rest of the NHL. Theodore looks much better with the short hair, but fancy stickhandling earned him the Hart Memorial Trophy in 2001 for the player most valuable to his team. The tall, dark and handsome pretty boy of hockey, Jose Theodore is not just the hottie in Canada, eh?
1. Albert Pujols: Baseball, St. Louis Cardinals
I have to go with my hometown hottie for this countdown, but after looking at his picture, who can argue with me? The National League MVP in 2005 (finally), Pujols has put up landmark numbers in his first five seasons and is poised to set career records by the time he retires. Pujols is one of the most humble men in baseball, choosing to spend free time with his family or working with Pujols Family Foundation dedicated to helping kids with Down Syndrome. An all-around great guy, Albert Pujols is the top hottie of 2006 because of his sex appeal and heart-melting kindness. He may wear number five, but he’s number one on the countdown and in the hearts of female Cardinal fans everywhere.