Maybe you didn’t hear but while you were busy getting ready for yet another poorly planned, poorly themed, frat party, R. Kelly was changing the face of hip hop.
In the summer of 2005 Kells released the beginning of his epic hip hopera “Trapped in the Closet.” Part concept album, part music video series, part pulpy/trashy soap opera, the overarching theme of the masterpiece was cliffhangers.
Each of the twelve chapters ended with a jaw dropping revelation or nail biting twist; Kells made quite clear that the last was in no way the end of the story. In fact, as the credits roll Kelly, or maybe Sylvester, or maybe the narrator shows up and tells us to keep Roxanne and Tina in mind, a tantalizing teaser ensuring much gossiping and predicting.
It’s possible in the frantic days of buying cheap storage units at Target you missed what is likely the most important event of 2007: “Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13-22.”
Not only does Kells continue to amaze us with his wit, rhyme skills and fantastic selection of suits, but the story also only manages to get more confusing. As all great writers have learned (from daytime television soap operas) the best way to keep people enthralled is with violence, lesbians and midgets (see “Passions”). Creative mixings and matchings of these core elements only make for a more fascinating final product.
Ready for the next 12 chapters? Of course not. How can you even begin to prepare yourself for something so glorious only R. Kelly’s mind can produce it? He has already proven himself with hits like the “Remix to Ignition”, “Playa’s Only” and “Same Girl.” Lucky for you the next ten installments are $15.05 at Streetside Records on the Loop.
If you think, incorrectly, that “Trapped in the Closet” isn’t going to be the generationaly defining work it already is, you can watch it for free at IFC.com.
The next twelve chapters are just as cliffhanger-filled as the first and yet, at the same time, many burning questions are finally answered.
We find out Tina and Roxanne’s relationship (note: this pun will be so much funnier when you actually see the chapter in which they appear) to the storyline. Storyline may not be the correct term; I’m no English major but I’d bet money story spirograph isn’t a term and yet that is the only phrase which fully describes the complexities of the work. We are let in on the secret of why Twan was in jail in the first place, which is oddly uninteresting, except for the blatant anachronism.
More importantly, we are given new questions to ponder. It is revealed that Cathy and Sylvester were planning on getting caught. This seems to poke a big hole in the plot of chapter one. Didn’t Sylvester sing, “How could I be so stupid to have laid here till the morning sun/.Didn’t plan to stay that long.” Sylvester, why would you lie to me? I thought we had a connection. When you looked at me from inside your closet, I felt that I too was trapped in a closet too, “a global closet,” R. Kelly called it.
One of the definite highlights is the introduction of some Italian mobsters. Not particularly because of their role, which only raises more questions, but because of the actors themselves. Dominic Capone plays the mob boss, Joey. Name sounds familiar? That’s because he’s Al Capone’s great-nephew. Oh yeah, classy.
The biggest shocker of all comes near the end and involves the “package.” Feel free to look it up on urbandictionary.com after you watch it if you’re confused; we were. But don’t ruin it for yourself by checking beforehand, it’s all about those cliffhangers.
Overall the new chapters are worth watching, if only for the fact that Kells plays more roles than before, now billed as the narrator; Sylvester; Randolph, Rosie the Nosey Neighbor’s husband; Reverend Mosley James Evans, the reverend at the church where Rufus is the Pastor; and Pimp Lucious, the Pimp who attends church. The only real reason for Pimp Lucious is that it rhymes with Rufus. Though just as with Tina and Roxanne, I’m certain Kels will manage to tie him in with the story as well.
“Trapped in the Closet” is not for you if you’re easily offended by homophobic actions and rhymes. Ranging from subtle to blatant, R. Kelly can’t hide the fact that he’s not a huge fan of gay men or women. It should be noted that he allows some homosexual action to occur but he clearly states that he’s only alright with two women sleeping together because he’s into that.
“Trapped in the Closet Chapters 1-12” has killer rhymes throughout but the new chapters fail to deliver lyrically. Kells’ comments that many people don’t notice the rhyming because they are so wrapped up in the story does not hold true for the new chapters. Overall, the rhyming is less skillful with larges spaces left to only the tinny synth beat. This wouldn’t be as upsetting but the beat never changes and after 47 minutes of it in the first twelve chapters alone, the genius becomes harder to appreciate. Also there are fewer forced rhymes, which is one of the characteristics that made the first twelve chapters so fun to sing along to.
Sure, we’ll all still watch them 15 times. Let’s face it, drinking is better when there are stripper midgets, and ResLife makes that difficult so we’ll have to make do with Big Man.
But, unlike the first 12 chapters, I can’t imagine my children ‘doing these “Trapped in the Closet Chapters,”‘ as R. Kelly predicts they will. (Still no clues as to what this means.)
