Archive for December, 2003

Set higher expectations for your friends

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Juliet DiLeo

People complain a lot about how expensive things are here at Washington University-tuition, books, carvery sandwiches, and the Chips Ahoy at Bear Mart. But one particular evening last year, this common topic of conversation was brought to a new height-or rather, low. I was in Bear Mart, scooping M&M’s onto my “fro yo,” when I heard two guys moaning quite obnoxiously about the number of points they would have to spend on their evening snack. I did not pay much attention to them until upon leaving the store, when I overheard their conversation with the woman who was working behind the counter. “Do you receive dental benefits for working here?” one of the guys asked. She quietly answered yes to the ridiculous question, bracing herself for the verbal assault she could do nothing to stop.ÿThe guy then replied, “Well, I hope that you’re brushing your teeth, because we’re paying for your cavities.”

I felt shock, anger, and shame simultaneously. I was livid that those two guys would have so little respect for the employee at Bear Mart. I was ashamed to admit that they and I were part of the same community. Had I missed the e-mail that said the lessons we learned in kindergarten about respect for other people no longer apply now that we attend Washington University? Are conversations and people like these the exception or the rule on our campus? Of course, I want to say, “The exception!” But I am not so sure…

The week before Thanksgiving, I was on my way to Holmes Lounge to meet a friend. Two guys I had just passed were walking right behind me. An attractive girl passed us going in the opposite direction, and she greeted the guys with “Hey! How are you?” The three of them chatted for a second as they walked past each other. Not a minute later I overheard, “Nice tummy.” “Definitely nice tummy.” I cringed. These guys just greeted the girl as their friend! How sad that she has no idea what they said about her only seconds after their interaction. Their conversation continues, “Man, she’s pretty good to bang. Yeah, she’s a good bang. But she’s one of those girls who you bang and then she just goes psycho.” My stomach completely flip-flopped. I turned around and said, “You guys are really disgusting me right now.” The one who had made the comment called out to me as I walked away, “That sucks, but that’s what guys are!”

The exception or the rule? How did I miss that e-mail?

It alarms me to realize that many who read this article will ask themselves, “What is this girl so upset about? People have conversations like that all the time-whether it’s in public or among friends over lunch, stuff like that gets said.”

But does that make it okay? I do not believe that just because comments like those may not be abnormal or cause discomfort for some, I should have to defend why I think such statements and sentiments are offensive. I feel that we at this university are so eager to have others sing our praises, through media attention, rankings, or various other accolades, that we miss something. We have pride in the programs our institution offers and hold our academics to a high standard, but what about the standards we set for ourselves, as members of a community? I was tremendously offended by both situations; the comments made were grossly disrespectful to the two women and to all women on our campus. I would hope that people who read this, and men in particular, find the guy’s defense of “that’s what guys are” extremely misrepresentative of how men do and should regard women. These examples represent sentiments, made by members of our community, that I feel should not be accepted, ignored, or brushed off as “just the way things are.”

What do I propose? Set higher expectations for those with whom you surround yourself. Demand personal respect from your friends, roommates, classmates, professors, and family for everyone in our community-no matter who they are or what purpose they serve in your life. As I apply to graduate school, I would like to believe that I will soon leave a caring and genuine community that treated me and others with respect, rather than know that our pride as a community rests on our national ranking, because we certainly were not number nine when I got here. I chose to be here because I recognized a community that I wanted to be a part of.

Hospitalizations are worrisome

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Roman Goldstein

So far this semester, 22 students have visited the emergency room due to alcohol. Eight of those have had to be intubated. (Intubation is essentially forced respiration, where an oxygen tube is stuffed down your throat.) This is up from a total of six or seven ER visits due to alcohol throughout the course of last year, said Justin Carroll, Dean of Student Affairs.

“We’ve had more cases that are really, really scary. Messages that say we don’t know if students are going to make it,” said Assistant Vice Chancellor for Students Karen Coburn.

What makes these numbers even more alarming is that the hospitalizations did not occur during major party events, like Bauhaus and WILD. Furthermore, most of the students in question were upperclassmen; we can’t point to freshman recklessness and stupidity. Finally, these emergencies did not occur on solely on weekends. EST responded to many of these incidents on weeknights.

So upperclassmen, who should know better, are getting trashed on weeknights when there isn’t any major peer pressure to drink. Why?

Administrators admit they are stumped. Student Union is concerned. And students are beginning to realize how serious this issue has become. A forum put together by SU Senator Lindsey Grossman on alcohol last Thursday was well-attended by all three groups, reflecting the concern on campus for the incidents as well as changes in the alcohol policy. (Kudos to Grossman for getting virtually every administrator related to this topic to come, from Vice Chancellor for Students James McLeod to Karin Johnes, Director of Greek Life. You can’t say SU does nothing important; few things are as important as discussing what led to eight near-deaths and how to prevent similar incidents in the future.)

Carroll suggested another way to look at these statistics. The fact that EST got 22 alcohol incidents may not mean that such incidents are up, only that they are better reported than last year. This would of course be a good thing. Supporting this view is the fact that all hospitalized students were drinking with friends who called EST.

I’m not convinced of this interpretation. EST calls related to alcohol during WILD have been stable for the last three years, said Field Director Carrie Bedient. If it were the case that students are more willing to call EST, we would’ve seen increased calls during WILD as well as for the rest of the semester. A jump from six to 44 (extrapolating the current rate to the rest of this year) is huge, and to say that increased willingness to call EST was put on hold for the biggest drinking day of the semester seems implausible.

Furthermore, eight of these cases were critical. If it were the case that student drinking has been constant, then we would have had over a dozen near-deaths every year in the past. To say that none of these actually resulted in a death is again implausible. Even with emergency medical care, some students almost didn’t make it this year; if we assume the same level of drinking, and less reporting of it, then it seems that someone should have died. You can’t have a .42 BAC and live without hospitalization.

Regardless of drinking trends, the fact that students are using EST is great. I want to thank those friends that did call EST and saved lives.

It is important to find the cause of this surge in drinking so that it can be handled. Students need to be honest with administrators in this matter. Keep in mind that they aren’t out to make this a dry campus. “I don’t know what a dry campus means. I’ve never been to one,” said Carroll.

Administrators want to give us the freedom to make our own choices, but that freedom cannot be maintained if students are being hospitalized. “Some freedom may impair the freedom and safety of the community,” McLeod said. If we want to keep our ability to drink fairly and freely on campus, we have to make sure that others do not abuse this freedom by binge-drinking. I’ll be very upset if the stupid and irresponsible behavior of others prevents me from enjoying my choice of beverage when eating dinner or watching a game on TV.

While we look for ways to stop risky drinking, we should take a cue from the friends of the 22 students. If you are at all in doubt about a friend’s health, call EST. It might be a matter of life and death.

Hear us bitch: rejected Student Life editorials

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Staff Editorial

All too often, the editorial board of Student Life finds itself with much to grumble about, but nothing to say that can truly be deemed worthy of a 400-word editorial. Being a bunch of whiners, however, we choose not to dismiss these petty complaints. Rather, we relegate them to what is affectionately referred to as the “bitch bin.” From “Shepley Drive should be two-way,” a legitimate but less-than-compelling argument, to “The squirrels at this school scare me; they always know exactly when to jump out of the garbage cans and freak you out,” Student Life is happy to present you with some of our favorite rejected editorial topics.

* There is not a sprinkler system on the South 40. Those two hoses cannot possibly be the speediest route to watered grass.

* Can someone PLEASE tell the Olin librarians to be quiet? They’re louder than the construction workers.

* Stop asking us for money while we’re still enrolled. $40,000 a year should at least keep you off our backs for four years.

* Old dorms, it seems, have approximately 3 washing machines per building.

* We take issue with all SU projects that deal in matters like taking the word “Interview” off Faces. Come on.

* If Thurtene’s goal was to flaunt their ability to waste money, then congratulations. Customized North Face Summit Series jackets are exactly the right way to go.

* Fall break is one day. ONE DAY.

* CS40 formal: the most expensive event that no one goes to.

* Shuttle bus drivers who proselytize by way of radio.

* Honestly, why do people just stand in the moveable stacks at the library? Move.

* Has anyone else noticed that the 40 smells bad? Frequently?

* The hanging lamps at Ursa’s and Bear’s Dean are too damn low. Admit it, you’ve hit your head.

* The openings at the tops of the garbage cans in Holmes Lounge are too small for the plates. It’s annoying.

* McMillan and McMillen. Too confusing.

* How many “No Parking, Doctors Only” spaces do we need outside of Mallinckrodt? And what doctors are they for? They’re sure not at Health Services.

* The Princeton Review consistently reports that “registration is a breeze.” Uh…we beg to differ.

* Student Life editorials are entirely too short.

Mona Lisa “O-face”

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Matt Simonton
DRAGASTUDIOS.COM

If you’ve ever wanted to shed your clothes and run around naked, Friday night was your chance to do so and call it art. The Art Coop on Delmar hosted “Eros Rising,” an exhibit of erotically charged pieces featuring the work of 40 artists. The art often straddled the fence between art and pornography, but a jolly good time was had by all.

Contrary to expectations, walking through the door of the small, two-room Coop did not reveal a decadent Roman orgy. Caligula probably would have regarded the crowd of art students and aging hipsters as somewhat of a drag. Most guests sipped a drink, puffed on a smoke, and tried to make serious comments about a giant phallus or a diagram of a uterus.

Much of the artwork was genuinely professional, however, and not just empty sensationalism. The main attraction was Michael Draga’s series of black-and-white nude prints. Draga photographs women and men, but his female subjects were the only ones on display Friday. Most of the women were average, everyday types, unembarrassed of their slightly sagging figures. From Draga’s artist statement: “I see the beauty in imperfection. I love to break stereotypes, and I see a beauty in all.” Most interesting was a partitioned section of the back of the room where Draga would photograph volunteers from the audience. Holes were cut in the black cloth to allow patrons a voyeuristic peek. Although this reporter didn’t see it firsthand, reliable sources report that two Washington University students (who will remain nameless) were reppin’ hard behind the black cloth that night. Once they were finished behind the curtain, the volunteers were encouraged to journey underground to be chained up and blindfolded. Viewers could watch the scene through a hole in the ground, which remained a hot spot throughout the night.

Other works included some glazed figurines by Tim Eberhardt depicting figures in all sorts of private positions. Titles included “Santa is Coming” (featuring Jolly Old St. Nick holding his lil’ Rudoph) and “Potters Always Have a Pot to Piss In” (no description necessary). A collection of paintings signed by a mysterious “Zeke” showed female nudes drawn in a variety of colors, as if the grown-up characters from Nickelodeon’s “Doug” had volunteered. Kathy Gomric submitted a few pieces from her “Drawing Fantasties” series, swirling, animalistic drawings that suggested a more erotic version of Henri Rousseau’s famous “Dream.” One of the more frivolous attractions was a “Twisteros” board, an old Twister game with sexual jargon painted on the multi-colored circles. With a call of “Left foot green,” players would have to plant their various limbs on words like “warts,” “G-spot,” “erector,” “pizzle,” and “nipply.” The many compromising positions caused by the game lent themselves to the sexual atmosphere.

While most of the show was either serious craftsmanship or harmless fun, a few submissions seemed downright exploitative or pornographic. Ange’ll Johanson’s silver gelatin prints, for example, definitely featured a woman holding some fellow’s saliva-covered member. “Lick It Before You Stick It” she called the piece. Indeed. Another factor adding to the slight creepiness was the presence of several older men who seemed particularly enthralled by the voluntary nude models. There’s a difference between studying a piece and ogling. These guys were decidedly indulging in the latter. It was hard to shake the idea that any sleazy pervert could have read the advertisement in the Riverfront Times and come to the show. After all, the $3 admission charge was cheaper than a night at a strip club. Despite these concerns, the night went without a hitch. Erotic art shows are apparently becoming an annual thing. It would be worthwhile to check out next year’s installment. Just be sure to leave the S & M gear and edible underwear at home.

Elephant-sized turd

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Matt Simonton
IMDB.COM

Elephant
Starring: John Robinson, Alex Frost, Eric Deulen
Directed by: Gus Van Sant
Playing at: The Chase Park Plaza
Grade: D+

Final Word: Perhaps that panel of experts knows something I don’t, but it seems to be a case of style over substance, of exaggeration over excellence.

“Elephant” is a terrible film. Director Gus Van Sant has taken the Columbine massacre and wrapped it up in a self-indulgent failed experiment, an exercise in boredom whose moments of true beauty are obscured by the director’s obvious pretentiousness. The whole thing feels like exploitation, as if we have to take Van Sant’s art-house loftiness seriously because of its tragic subject matter. Don’t fall for it! Or at least, examine the case and decide if this excruciating film is for you.

“Elephant” is almost impossible to describe in narrative terms, since the first hour of the movie replays the same fifteen-minute span of time from multiple angles. We are first introduced to John (Robinson), who takes the keys from his obviously drunk, George W. Bush-looking father. Apparently this isn’t the first time it’s happened, since John is ready to call up his mom to come pick the old guy up. Leaving his father in the car, John walks into his high school-and time slows down. We then follow the jock-ish Jordan off the athletic field, through the hallways, and into the arms of his girlfriend. The camera follows behind him at a leisurely pace, filming for a full minute or two (in cinematic relativity, an eternity). There are no quick cuts or elliptical jumps in time. Everything is either real time or even reduced to slow-motion speed. Jordan and his girlfriend walk into the office to check out, and there is John, right where we left him after the first scene. This technique repeats ad nauseam, introducing the different characters and showing their crisscrossing high school lives in the same, boring, long-shot style.

One element drives the plot beyond a lingering look at these mostly beautiful high school hipsters (who all either look like Abercrombie and Fitch models or are painfully maladjusted nerds). When John walks back outside, shortly after he checks in, he sees two students, Eric (Deulen) and Alex (Frost), approaching the school dressed in camo and decked out in assorted duffel bags. “Just get the fuck out of here and don’t come back, shit might go down,” says Alex. We are caught off guard by this violent intrusion into Van Sant’s dreamy world, and tension fills the subsequent scenes, a feeling of dread from knowing that gunfire could explode at any moment. But when the violence finally begins, it feels like a relief, like plot and action are taking the place of coma-inducing monotony.

Is this Van Sant’s clever point? Are we supposed to find the detachment unbearable, so that the killers’ actions seem more acceptable? Is this our chance to get inside their heads, to feel the unbearable troubles of their daily existence (which include, almost exclusively, enduring spitballs, playing Beethoven on piano, killing innocent civilians in computer games, watching Hitler movies, and ordering automatic weapons online)? Is the movie one giant psychological trick meant to blur the lines between empathy and disgust?

If this is the case, I still don’t care. I still spent 81 minutes (thank God for “Elephant”‘s brevity) watching a guy cross a football field, sitting through the slow process of another kid developing a roll of film, staring for a full two minutes at a cloudy sky. These things are hard to forgive, especially when the sensitive subject matter demands honesty and a shedding of pretense. And these aren’t the lamentings of a cinematic prude who wants things delivered directly and with a clear sense of good and evil. There’s nothing wrong with “Elephant”‘s moral ambivalence or its cool, detached nature. The problem is that it’s impermissibly boring and self-indulgent considering its context. This film received a lot of attention at Cannes, where it earned Van Sant a Best Director award. Perhaps that panel of experts knows something I don’t, but it seems to be a case of style over substance, of exaggeration over excellence. All I saw was one elephant-sized turd.

Random Doodles

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Brian Sotak
Bernell Dorrough

‘Tis the season for Grandma’s cookies

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Brendan Watson
Bernell Dorrough

Joy to the world the Lord is come
Let Earth receive her king
Let every heart prepare him room
And heaven, let heaven, heaven and nature,
Heaven and nature sing.

After several weeks of the scrooges that I work with telling me that it was too early to belt-out Christmas carols, I can finally sing to my heart’s content. I can’t even put into words how much I love Christmas and Christmas music. I love Christmas most of all, because it is loaded with tradition in my family.

Our Christmas tree is a tradition unto itself. My father has a friend that owns a Christmas tree farm, and each year a beautiful tree, nine feet or taller, arrives at our front door sometime in the beginning of December.

Putting lights and ornaments on a tree that big is a family affair. So is cleaning up the next morning if the tree breaks the tree-stand and falls over, which has happened more than once. In the end, however, if the tree stays standing, we always have the most beautiful Christmas tree I have ever seen. And I am never happier than when my family gathers around the Christmas tree Sunday morning, listens to Handel’s “Messiah,” and exchanges gifts.

As can only be expected from a family obsessed with food, another large part of our family’s Christmas traditions is centered on food. From my mother’s chocolate truffles which she makes by the dozens every year to give to family and friends, to our lamb feast on Christmas Eve, to my father’s Swedish pancakes that we eat on Christmas morning after exchanging gifts around the tree, we eat well throughout the holidays.

The food tradition most special to me, however, is baking cookies with my grandma. She was always been a very important, special part of my life, but I don’t get to see her a lot because she lives in Buffalo, NY. So when she comes into town for the holidays we spend a lot of time together.

A couple of years ago, a friend called me during the holidays to ask if I could go to a movie, and I said I was busy. “Are you playing board games with your grandma?” she asked. I wasn’t. I was baking cookies with my grandma, which is my favorite of my family’s Christmas traditions.

At one time I would help my grandma make six or more different kinds of cookies for Christmas. As she’s gotten older, though, that number has scaled back, and now each person in the family requests only our absolute favorites. My requests are cutouts and chocolate chip cookies.

I won’t tell you our recipe for chocolate chip cookies; it’s a family trade secret (actually, it’s on the back of the package of any package of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips. Just don’t beat the flour too much-that will make the cookies hard.)

I am willing, however, to share the recipe for my grandma’s cutout cookies, because they’re an absolute must for the holidays.

To get started, cream the sugar and shortening until it’s fluffy. Next, beat in the eggs, milk and vanilla. Sift together the flour, salt and baking soda and fold it into the batter. Now refrigerate the batter for at least a couple of hours. Roll out the dough so that it is about 1/4” thick, and use cookie cutters to cut the dough into desired shapes. I usually make the required Christmas trees, Santas and what not, but I also make chili peppers, bulls and sailboats. Don’t ask why. These odd shapes have become the favorites, though, at my friend Krista’s house where I go each year for Christmas Eve (another great Christmas tradition) and take a can of my grandma’s cookies.

Once you have cut them out, place the cookies on a greased cookie sheet, and bake at 350 degrees for eight to 10 minutes or until they turn a very light brown.

Now the fun begins. You’re ready to frost the cookies. Once when my father was young, my grandma went to a PTA meeting at his school and left him and his two brothers to frost the cookies. They made a puke-green frosting and decorated all the cookies, which were so hideous that my grandma refused to give any of them away and started another batch from scratch. This story has become legend in the family. To this day, my grandma has a tizz over frosting that does not closely resemble a primary color and will make me work forever to make the perfect Christmas green and red.

For the frosting, cream butter, salt, and vanilla, beating until light and fluffy. Add sugar gradually, beating after each addition. Add 3 tablespoons milk, beating until smooth. Beat in more milk until desired spreading consistency is reached. Makes about 2 1/3 cups of frosting.

Lastly, don’t forget to spread the season’s joy. Share these cookies with your friends and family.

Grandma’s Cutout Cookies

1 cup white sugar
3/4 cup shortening
2 eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla

Frosting

1/3 cup butter
1/ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 pound (3 1/2 cups) sifted confectioners sugar
3 to 4 tablespoons milk

Picks of the Litter

Monday, December 8th, 2003 | Travis Petersen
Bernell Dorrough

It’s been a long, glorious year in the arts and entertainment world, and though there were a lot of disappointments in movies (Matrix 2 and 3 bring themselves immediately to mind), music, literature and the fine arts, there were plenty of triumphs as well. Since someone was foolish enough to hire me as the arts and entertainment editor of Student Life-as if I were some sort of expert on the matter-here are my not-so-humble opinions of the year’s biggest disappointments and triumphs.

The Triumphs:

Best Album (mainstream): AFI, “Sing the Sorrow”

The major label breakthrough for the Bay Area goth-punk band is all huge riffs and anthemic sing-alongs. Sure, they might have sold out, but they’ve made selling out sound oh-so-good, and their rabid cult of tattooed fans has yet to abandon them, even though they’ve won an MTV Video Music Award. To top it all off, their trip to the mainstream is their most experimental and consistent album to date.

Best Album (underground): Black Cross, “Art Offensive”

Intricate, raw punk rock with a message, Black Cross are probably one of those bands that will go sorely unnoticed until they are gone and bunches of young kids try to imitate their sound. Bold enough to be abrasive and beautiful at the same time.

Best Single (mainstream): Outkast, “Hey Ya”

Riding on a dance beat straight out of “Shindig,” this cut from Andre 3000’s half of the two disc set “Speakerboxxx/The Love Below” is the most joyous song to hit the airwaves in ages. With Prince-like vocals and 60s pop guitar filtered through a futuristic hip-hop sensibility, “Hey Ya” is wonderfully infectious. If anything can stop the Middle East Crisis, it’s this song.

Best Single (underground): Give up the Ghost, “Love American”

With roaring yet chiming guitars, harsh, strangled vocals and wonderfully poetic lyrics, “Love American” from Boston hardcore band Give up the Ghost (formerly American Nightmare) redefines punk rock as the music of intellectual and visceral rebellion. Simply the best, most original extreme rock song of the year.

Best Music Video: Outkast, “Hey Ya”

Yeah, it’s “Hey Ya” again. But what could be better than a band of eight Andre 3000s in bright green outfits (especially the backup singers in jockey costumes) playing their hearts out on a “Top of the Pops” style show for an audience of swooning multicultural hotties ready to “shake it like a polaroid picture”? Nothing, I say. Nothing at all.

Best Book: “Fortress of Solitude” by Jonathen Lethem

Following up his wonderful, award-winning “Motherless Brooklyn” with a heartfelt tale of growing up in Brooklyn in the 1970s, Lethem creates two wonderful, believable characters named Dylan and Mingus who struggle against, and love, a world that is constantly stomping them down. “Fortress of Solitude” comes complete with plenty of music and comic book references that only reinforce the bond between high and low culture and the wonders of art in any form.

Best Movie: “About Schmidt”

Okay, technically it came out last year, but it didn’t open in St. Louis until 2003, and it was entirely snubbed on Oscar night, so I’ll give it its due here. Alexander Payne’s story of a retiree (Jack Nicholson) going on a quest to find meaning in his life after his wife’s death is profane and poignant, hilarious and heartbreaking. It’s the kind of movie that can make a viewer wonder about the hopelessness of American life while laughing at situations too familiar to be comfortable. “About Schmidt” also features the funniest haircut in a movie in some time: the balding mullet on Dermot Mulroney, playing Nicholson’s prospective son-in-law.

The Disappointments:

Movies: “The Matrix” parts 2 and 3.
If anyone understands what the hell happened, let me know.

Music: Major label debuts from formerly underground bands that lived up to neither the promise of their previous releases nor the media hype showered upon them: Thursday, Thrice, and the Rapture, just to name a few.

NFL Picks: Week 13

Friday, December 5th, 2003 | NFL Picks

Matthew Goldberg
Sports Editor

Outlook:
The answer to the Oakland Raiders’ woes is not better players, but sports psychology. Sports shrink Richard Crowley believes that Coach Bill Callahan needs to stop berating his players. Um, hello! This is football and screaming and yelling is part of the game. Not surprisingly, the Raiders denied the request for help.

Game of the Week: San Diego at Detroit
Got to go with the Lions in this one because the Chargers cannot even figure out where to file a lawsuit to get out of their lease. Pathetic!

Pankaj Chhabra
Sports Editor

Outlook:
I’m not a big fan of the St. Louis Rams’ finesse style of play, but I like what I see from Marshall Faulk and the running game. With Marc Bulger throwing interceptions more frequently than Paris Hilton gets facials, the Rams must learn to rely on Faulk.

Game of the Week: Chicago at Green Bay
With a win, the Bears will forge a second-place tie with the Pack in the NFC North. The Packers typically dominate the Bears, and they’ve had ten days to recover from a loss to the Lions. Look for rookie WR Justin Gage to challenge the Packers’ secondary all day.

Joe Ciolli
Sports Editor

Outlook:
Cornerback Samari Rolle was fined $7,500 on Thursday for “high-fiving” teammate Andre Dyson after intercepting a pass. I didn’t see the game, but if Rolle’s high-five is considered inappropriate, I’m pretty sure that he slapped more than just Dyson’s hands. The Titans should air their games on Cinemax.

Game of the Week: Kansas City at Denver
Two seasons ago, Chiefs receiver Eddie Kennison was forced out of Denver by Mike Shanahan. He’ll look to get his revenge this weekend as he has his homecoming. Kennison will try to prove that the Broncos should be renamed “the John Elways.”

Ashley Malnove
Sports Designer

Outlook:
I lied. I didn’t watch football on Thanksgiving. Who wants to see the Cowboys lose that much? As for the next football game I watch, that will be the Super Bowl. I think that Kansas City is going to be in it. They are doing so well. But then again, the Chiefs could start losing all of the sudden. You never know.

Game of the Week: Houston at Jacksonville
Since JAX treated me well over Thanksgiving, I’ll go ahead and pick them. Take that Texas.Yeah that’s right, even southern Georgia is better than Houston.

Lesley McCullough
Cornerstone Tech. Coordinator

Outlook:
A sports psychologist is offering to solve the Raiders’ woes. My prediction is that there isn’t enough psychotherapy available to fix their problems! Even the Raiders think it’s too late!

Game of the Week: San Diego at Denver
This is the least interesting game of the week. I definitely don’t care who wins this! Instead, I think Kansas City at Denver will be much more entertaining! I predict KC will continue to roll.

20 Questions with Chris “Queens” Alarcon

Friday, December 5th, 2003 | Jeff Novack
Bernell Dorrough

Student Life sat down with intramural football and basketball referee Chris “Queens” Alarcon and asked him 20 Questions about his thoughts on life and refereeing.

Student Life: Being a ref is a tough job. How do you command the players’ respect?

Chris Alarcon: That’s a good question. I feel that the best way to get a player’s respect is through fear. I make them fear me. Every now and then I’ll just randomly blow the whistle for no reason-just to keep them on their toes.

SL: As a referee, are you more Dick Bavetta (basketball), Angel Hernandez (baseball), or Denis Leary (star of the movie, The Ref)?

CA: You know, Jeff, that’s a common misconception. Everyone thinks we refs are trying to be the “next Dick Bavetta.” It’s like the “Next MJ” deal from Vince Carter’s early years. I’m not trying to be the next Dick Bavetta. I’m just trying to be Chris Alarcon, the ref. I’m just trying to be the best Chris Alarcon, the ref, I can be.

SL: Has the intramural sports department considered switching from a playoff to a bowl format? Wouldn’t the switch potentially produce more revenue for the teams? Does the length of the intramural playoffs negatively affect the athletes involved academically?

CA: You can blame Bon Appetit for the lack of bowl games in intramural sports. Two years ago, Pepsi invited Washington University’s Intramural champs to the Pepsi Bowl, but Bon Appetit’s exclusive contract with Coke prevented us from participating. I guess that’s the price you pay for a good reuben. And yes, I feel that the length of the intramural playoffs schedule does negatively affect athletes academically. If you have any doubts on this matter, just ask my OMM 2 professor what I got on the last test.

SL: We’ve all thought about it and discussed it, now I’d like to hear your take. Do college intramural sports need instant replay?

CA: I honestly believe the University’s intramural sports need instant replay. Not necessarily for all sports, but definitely for girl’s football. As the system currently stands, refs are forced to choose between making the right call and ogling the girls as they wildly grope each other around the midsection. I feel that with instant replay officials will be able to concentrate on the play secure in the knowledge that they’ll be able to “review” all of the accidental pantsings that occur in a women’s IM flag football game.

SL: What’s up with the stripes….zebra?

CA: It’s interesting that you mention stripes. Harold Ramis, of Ghostbuster’s fame is actually one of the stars of “Stripes.” He also serves on the University’s Board of Trustees. Keen observation, Mr. Novack.

SL: Is it true you were never paid for reffing sophomore year?

CA: Well Jeff, sophomore year was a bit of a down time for me. While I usually don’t like to open up about that period in my life, I feel that the University public deserves to know the truth. It is true. I didn’t receive compensation, per se, for my sophomore year reffing efforts. I’m starting a grass roots effort to recieve compensation for all of those rainy Sunday mornings, but it hasn’t been going so well. Jeff, even if I don’t get paid for the many, many, many weekends I labored in the mud for the good of the IM office, I’d like to make two things clear. First, Sean Curtis, head of the IM office, is a fair and just man. Secondly, as much as I need it, I don’t ref for the money. I ref for the love of the game. Not that the $0.25 raise each year hurts.

SL: How many hours a week do you spend reviewing game film to see how accurate your calls were?

CA: None. I don’t make mistakes.

SL: Never?

CA: Never.

SL: Not once?

CA: Never.

SL: How long is the longest essay you’ve ever written in college?

CA: Three pages, single spaced, intramural football game protest. It was the first protest of a game they had had in three years. It started out as a protest to a call on the field, but it became a dissertation on the state of intramural reffing at the University.

SL: Word Association: NY Mets?

CA: 2006 World Champions.

SL: Happy Hour?

CA: Happy.

SL: Excessive endzone celebration?

CA: Non-existent-0if you don’t get the other team mad, the TD wasn’t worth it.

SL: Technical foul?

CA: As good as a bucket.