I’m really appalled that one chick won Mr. Wash. U. She’s not a mister; she’s a mistress. I’ve never met her before, but her uterus should automatically disqualify her. Men are an oppressed and underrepresented minority at Wash. U. What about men’s rights? It was bad enough when we started letting women drive, but this is straight-up illegitimate.

Tsk, tsk, Senator Claire McCaskill. It seems since 2006 you’ve lost that certain je ne sais quoi. Luckily, everyone’s favorite woman and gender studies theorist, Representative Todd Akin knows exactly where you’ve gone wrong.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt,” Abraham Lincoln once said. Though Lincoln lived in an era before viral videos and constant media scrutiny, he nevertheless understood the power of poorly chosen words. The modern GOP might want to take a hint and quit shooting itself in the foot.

You might not know it, but Missouri is one of the most important states in the union this election cycle. Republicans are on the cusp of seizing control of every branch of the government; the Supreme Court enjoys a conservative majority, a projected $1.