Courtesy of FOX

“The Raven”
“Quoth the Raven, ‘Nevermore.’”
The classiest segment to spawn from the depths of the “Treehouse of Horror” also happened to come from its very first episode. Originally airing for Halloween 1990, “The Raven” featured the inimitable James Earl Jones lending his voice to Edgar Allan Poe’s most famous poem. Each stanza is perfectly aligned with the show’s charming animation, which sees Homer as the despondent protagonist and Bart as the mischievous raven, and even a portrait of Marge as the lost Lenore thrown in for good measure. Whenever I read “The Raven,” I can’t help but narrate the poem in James Earl Jones’ deep and booming voice, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“The Shinning”
“Urge to kill…rising…”
The fifth “Treehouse of Horror” brought us a segment that parodied Stanley Kubrick’s most famous horror film. Homer and the family are left to take care of Mr. Burns’ lodge for the winter, but Mr. Burns has disconnected all the televisions and discarded all the beer from the lodge. From there, Homer goes crazy (“Don’t mind if I do!”) and begins to hunt down his family. So far, so “The Shining.” This segment is packed with memorable moments like the blood-filled elevator, Bart cutting holes through Willie’s hedge maze, and, my favorite, Homer’s “60 Minutes” spin on Jack Nicholson’s famous “Here’s Johnny!” scene.

“Time and Punishment”
“I’m the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time.”
Hey, it’s another segment from the fifth “Treehouse of Horror.” This one is based off of Ray Bradbury’s science fiction short story “A Sound of Thunder.” Homer makes a time-traveling toaster and travels back to the time of dinosaurs, only to kill something and cause massive changes in the present. Each timeline is twisted in its own way, such as Ned “re-Neducating” Springfield by forcing citizens to get lobotomies, or Bart and Lisa being giants for absolutely no reason. My favorite gag was the “Terminator 2” tile floor scene from the Ned timeline, although Homer beating the crap out of dinosaurs with a baseball bat is a close second.

“Hell Toupee”
“Now that’s what I call a bad hair day.”
Every time I so much as think of this segment, I can’t help but laugh over some of the finest jokes to grace the “Treehouse of Horror” lineage. The premise of Homer being possessed by an evil toupee from the dead convict Snake is utter genius, and I’ll fight anybody who disagrees. The animators outdid themselves on this episode by including some hilarious sight gags, such as the pack of cigarettes in Homer’s rolled-up sleeves, his hair magically curling upwards whenever Snake takes over his body, and the toupee being repeatedly shot with pistol rounds.

“Night of the Dolphin”
“Snorky…talk…man.”
Anybody who has seen this segment from “Treehouse of Horror XI” can vouch for just how stupid it is. How stupid? Walking and talking dolphins leave the ocean to violently force humans into the sea. That stupid. It’s a good kind of stupid, though. The best kind of stupid. The segment has so many notable scenes that I can’t possibly name them all, but Snorky’s speech, the dolphins perched on top of power lines (parodying Hitchcock’s “The Birds”), and the fight between humans and dolphins come out on top. It wasn’t the classiest or most clever segment, but with that premise, it was already destined for greatness.

5 – ‘Nightmare Cafeteria’ from‘Treehouse of Horror V’

MCT Campus

Principal Skinner and Lunchlady Doris have problems. Skinner thinks that detention is too crowded, and Doris thinks it’s wrong to serve the children grade-F meat. The solution is hilarious, morbid and so very wrong: Eat the disobedient students. One by one, the children are picked off, until Bart, Lisa and Millhouse are the only ones left. They go to the usually level-headed Marge for aid, but her advice is less than helpful. Also, it’s the best line of the night: “Look them in the eye and say, ‘Don’t eat me.’”

4 – ‘Send in the Clones’ from ‘Treehouse of Horror XIII’

Homer buys a cursed hammock that can clone him. At first, he uses the power for good, relatively speaking. You know, to help with chores and stuff. But soon Homer loses control of the population of belly button-less pea brains. They’re a hungry bunch, eating entire fields of corn and the farmers that tend to the fields. It’s hard to say what’s the best part. Is it the scene where a helicopter suspends a 50-foot donut over a cliff, baiting thousands of Homers to fall to their deaths? No, that’s not it. The episode’s best bit comes when the camera pans over the field of Homers clones, which includes Homers from past episodes, a Homer as he appeared in the original shorts, and, of course, Peter Griffin.

3 – ‘Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die’ from ‘Treehouse of Horror X’

It’s Y2K, and Homer is the only technician in the world who forgot to debug his computer. So when the ball drops, the virus spreads and pandemonium ensues. Planes fall from the skies, and nuclear missiles are deployed. Dick Clark’s face melts off, revealing him to be a robot. In short, the world is doomed. But there’s an out; the Simpsons discover that something called “Operation Exodus” plans to rocket the world’s most important people into space so they can start a new human civilization. They yoink a ticket off Krusty’s body and sprint to Houston. But only Lisa, Marge and Maggie are allowed on the ship (Lisa’s their proofreader), and all hope seems lost until Homer and Bart spy another rocket about to take off. They leave Earth behind, but something about this shuttle doesn’t seem right. Homer looks around in panic at Dan Quayle, Pauly Shore and Tom Arnold, realizing they’re far from being the world’s best and brightest people. Also, their ship is headed directly into the sun. Rosie O’Donnell leads all of the passengers in “Clang, Clang, Clang,” and Homer decides death can’t come fast enough, as he ejects his and Bart’s seats from the shuttle, where their heads can pop in peace.

2 – ‘Night of the Dolphin’ from ‘Treehouse of Horror XI’

Lisa takes pity on a dolphin named Snorky who lives in an aquarium. In an act of activism, she frees the marine creature, and he swims out to sea. But unbeknownst to Lisa, Snorky is the dolphin’s leader, and after years of being treated like a “common seal,” he wants revenge on the humans. The creatures’s first target is hapless Lenny, out for a night swim. “Uh-oh, sharks! The assassins of the sea! Ohh, you’re not sharks. You’re dolphins. The clowns of the sea.” They bludgeon him. Before dying, he asks, “Hey, what’s the gag?” Of course, the humans will have none of it, and Homer leads them in the assault. A quick cut later, and the surviving Springfieldians are floating on driftwood in the ocean. Lisa apologizes for dooming humanity, but Marge consoles her. “Oh, honey, I wouldn’t say ‘doomed.’ It’s going to be an adjustment, no question.”

1 – ‘Time and Punishment’ from ‘Treehouse of Horror V’

MCT Campus

There isn’t much gore or horror to speak of in this segment, but that does not lessen its greatness. While trying to fix his toaster, Homer inadvertently sends himself back in time. Panicking, he remembers his dad’s words to him on his wedding day: “If you ever travel back in time, don’t step on anything.” Easy advice to follow, until a mosquito lands on Homer’s arm. “Stupid bug! You squish now!” Of course, this changes the future detrimentally. For the rest of the segment, Homer bounces from the past to the present again and again in an effort to remake the life he knows. The episode ends with Homer at his usual dinner table, sitting with what appears to be his normal family. Except they have forked-tongues. “Ehh, close enough,” Homer says.